Upvote
0
Murphy laws of Killing Floor
- Thread starter Fedorov
- Start date
Eh..well I still sat in the corner, with all the pipes around (that I placed) finishing off fp's in groups. And the ss stood by me, clever enough to realize that standing near pipes when trying to snipe is not a good idea. Then came wave 11. I drew rocket fire, hoping to get an interesting fight. Lured him to pipes, got rockets, got rid of pipes, lured him to more pipes, unfortunately he died. The end.
Upvote
0
when you finally reached the trader after sprinting 200m or so and you're still dame lucky to be able to click auto fill on the last sec until trader kicks you outside a unfamiliar, dark territory and right smack into the waiting arms of fps, scrakes, and whatever..
or
when server spawn you while everybody else except you are already in relatively safe haven camping inside with welded doors (teammates are a bunch of a-holes) then you naturally draw all the attention of all the specs spawned and will be spawned and they wont stop hunting you till you're dead..
or
when server spawn you while everybody else except you are already in relatively safe haven camping inside with welded doors (teammates are a bunch of a-holes) then you naturally draw all the attention of all the specs spawned and will be spawned and they wont stop hunting you till you're dead..
Upvote
0
Upvote
0
- groups of 5 gorefast will spawn in the center of the room (3 meters away from you) the moment you look at the door.
- your team mates will ALWAYS strafe the moment you try shoot a healing dart at them.
- if you try to use the syringe then they will run away from you.
corollary: the real purpose of the medic is to act as a herding dog leading his team to a safe place using his syringe and darts.
- people with the AA12 will unload a full mag on a scrake you can kill with a single bolt.
- people without AA12 will do the same thing but will also get killed in the process and then shout at you for not being able to kill it.
- your team mates will ALWAYS strafe the moment you try shoot a healing dart at them.
- if you try to use the syringe then they will run away from you.
corollary: the real purpose of the medic is to act as a herding dog leading his team to a safe place using his syringe and darts.
- people with the AA12 will unload a full mag on a scrake you can kill with a single bolt.
- people without AA12 will do the same thing but will also get killed in the process and then shout at you for not being able to kill it.
Last edited:
Upvote
0
-Patriarch always spawns in front of players, checks his rocket launcher,
shoots... no armor, all wounded in start of wave 11.
-There are more amount of Stalkers when you don't play as Commando.
-When all players are fighting in group and you leave them at least at 10
meters, zeds will spawn between you and team.
-When playing Berserker and killing Scrake, he always dies by the gun of other player when Scrake has 1% of HP.
-When there are no medics in team and you switch to medic, another player will switch immediatly too.
-There are ALWAYS at least 2 medics, I guarantee it.
-There are a lot of lvl 0-2 in Suicidal.
-Double-barreled shotgun's pellets always flying so that you can't hit crawlers in 2 meters.
-When all your teammates have 1500+ pounds, tier 3 weapons, secondary weapons, armor and nades they can't give you even 50 pounds.
shoots... no armor, all wounded in start of wave 11.
-There are more amount of Stalkers when you don't play as Commando.
-When all players are fighting in group and you leave them at least at 10
meters, zeds will spawn between you and team.
-When playing Berserker and killing Scrake, he always dies by the gun of other player when Scrake has 1% of HP.
-When there are no medics in team and you switch to medic, another player will switch immediatly too.
-There are ALWAYS at least 2 medics, I guarantee it.
-There are a lot of lvl 0-2 in Suicidal.
-Double-barreled shotgun's pellets always flying so that you can't hit crawlers in 2 meters.
-When all your teammates have 1500+ pounds, tier 3 weapons, secondary weapons, armor and nades they can't give you even 50 pounds.
Upvote
0
Upvote
0
- When you shoot at a crawler you will hit a stalker
- When you go to snipe with the crossbow a husk will ignite you and blind you
- When you are stuck reloading and a stalker/crawler is slashing you, your team mates won't shoot it off
- when you kill a specimen, the crawler behind it will jump and hurt you without any way of dodging it
- Zed time will happen when you are alone and doing nothing
- When you go to snipe with the crossbow a husk will ignite you and blind you
- When you are stuck reloading and a stalker/crawler is slashing you, your team mates won't shoot it off
- when you kill a specimen, the crawler behind it will jump and hurt you without any way of dodging it
- Zed time will happen when you are alone and doing nothing
Upvote
0
Upvote
0
Well, from what Ive seen NOBODY shoots the ****ing crawlers. Its very annoying because Im often berserker...
And this
Upvote
0
Upvote
0
When you and your friends are playing on round one and someone joins, they WILL ask for money, regardless of the fact it's WAVE ONE FFS.
And when you try to heal anyone as medic, they will dance around and make you miss, and then get killed. They may or may not blame you afterwards.
And the L6 sharpie will go with the M14 EBR, and insist that kills=skills.
Even though he's bodyshotting everything, and you, the sharpie with the sharpie weapon, are HEADshotting everything.
As a medic, i always end up alive last. This is ok, because my loadout of Mk17/M14/MP7 is good enough. Which you have to know in order to appreciate the following.
I am the last member of the team alive (medic, courtesy of Murphy's law) i end up running around the map sniping with my Mk17 SCAR, and i lag out at the most inoportune time.
This combines 2 of the KF Murphy's laws.
Last man standing is medic, and
Lagging out at the worst time
And oldih, on my team,
is not true.
I am a medic by nature. That's my play style, and that's my job. My name too
And one more:
The sharpie with the Xbow isn't skilled, and stands still sniping in one spot and doesn't move even though the specimens are now in their face. Then gets assraped by a crawler/stalker/whatever.
This actually happened to me once/twice/once a round for a few rounds.
EDIT: one more.
As a commando/using commando weps to lvl commando, stalkers will come at you like 1 metre away, while you're reloading, and a teammate will kill them.
ALWAYS
And when you try to heal anyone as medic, they will dance around and make you miss, and then get killed. They may or may not blame you afterwards.
And the L6 sharpie will go with the M14 EBR, and insist that kills=skills.
Even though he's bodyshotting everything, and you, the sharpie with the sharpie weapon, are HEADshotting everything.
As a medic, i always end up alive last. This is ok, because my loadout of Mk17/M14/MP7 is good enough. Which you have to know in order to appreciate the following.
I am the last member of the team alive (medic, courtesy of Murphy's law) i end up running around the map sniping with my Mk17 SCAR, and i lag out at the most inoportune time.
This combines 2 of the KF Murphy's laws.
Last man standing is medic, and
Lagging out at the worst time
And oldih, on my team,
is not true.
I am a medic by nature. That's my play style, and that's my job. My name too
And one more:
The sharpie with the Xbow isn't skilled, and stands still sniping in one spot and doesn't move even though the specimens are now in their face. Then gets assraped by a crawler/stalker/whatever.
This actually happened to me once/twice/once a round for a few rounds.
EDIT: one more.
As a commando/using commando weps to lvl commando, stalkers will come at you like 1 metre away, while you're reloading, and a teammate will kill them.
ALWAYS
Last edited:
Upvote
0
In a triumphant display of talent, a 6 man suicidal team will close to wipe on wave 10 leaving the medic to kite 100+ zeds around the map. Slowly but surely the counter will drop down to 80, 70, 30, until only 10 remain. One turn around a corner reveals 3 sirens and the medic insta-explodes.
Upvote
0
i join on wave 7, and no-one can manage to spare 200$ to let me buy a crossbow...yet expect me to take care of scrakes w/ the 9mm i'm holding.
alternate:
i join on wave 7, find a awesome person who's willing to give me plenty of money for my preferred loadout (crossbow, single deagle), i let the team know that i'll handle the scrakes and fp's, they agree...THEN AS SOON AS ONE APPEARS THEY LIGHT IT UP W/ BULLETS. scrake/FP rages, rapes everyone else halfway through, i run like hell (taking the surviving medic w/ me) and manage to kill all the specs off (taking the crossbow off of the dead medic when i need the ammo...only to get killed by a sudden siren spawn.
i suppose the murphy law here is that:
-sirens always spawn standing on your head, as a SS.
alternate:
i join on wave 7, find a awesome person who's willing to give me plenty of money for my preferred loadout (crossbow, single deagle), i let the team know that i'll handle the scrakes and fp's, they agree...THEN AS SOON AS ONE APPEARS THEY LIGHT IT UP W/ BULLETS. scrake/FP rages, rapes everyone else halfway through, i run like hell (taking the surviving medic w/ me) and manage to kill all the specs off (taking the crossbow off of the dead medic when i need the ammo...only to get killed by a sudden siren spawn.
i suppose the murphy law here is that:
-sirens always spawn standing on your head, as a SS.
Upvote
0
That's because most people are stupid, and turn the music up high because they think it's super special awesome, while turning down all the voices, including that of specimens. For myself I have music playing, but not so loud that I can't hear what kind of specimen is coming for me so I can shoot it before it gets to me.
However, I find when I do backpedal, I will
Upvote
0
Oh I forgot 1
- Berserkers tend to be absolutely hopeless at avoiding damage from pretty much anything... but are consumate professionals at dodging a medics healing darts.
- Berserkers tend to be absolutely hopeless at avoiding damage from pretty much anything... but are consumate professionals at dodging a medics healing darts.
Upvote
0
-when you heve your M79 and aim at nicely grouped clots and crawlers, some goddamn stalker will always be there to swallow your grenade
-when you're running towards a group of clots to shred them with a katana, as soon as you get there, there's only a smoke cloud from grenade explosion, thanks to some demo with ADHD
-when you're sniping on scrake's or fleshpound's head with crossbow on 24 player server, some firebugs will set them aflame, dropping your FPS to 2-3 and making them run, though even at LVL6 and full ammo they don't have enough firepower to kill it
-when you decapitate a bloat and wait till he bleeds out, some player will shoot it to explode and cover you with acid
-when you're running towards a group of clots to shred them with a katana, as soon as you get there, there's only a smoke cloud from grenade explosion, thanks to some demo with ADHD
-when you're sniping on scrake's or fleshpound's head with crossbow on 24 player server, some firebugs will set them aflame, dropping your FPS to 2-3 and making them run, though even at LVL6 and full ammo they don't have enough firepower to kill it
-when you decapitate a bloat and wait till he bleeds out, some player will shoot it to explode and cover you with acid
Upvote
0
- As a demoman, Bloat's corpses will set on your pipe . Sad .
- Against the patriarch, you will duck when he's firing his rocket hoping that he will miss the shot ... but he will hit the guy right behind you . Great double-blow-up .
- The 9mm is the best friend of the worstest commandos . It's not CS ffs ! You'll usually hate him.
- You wish that the FF is ON to kill this M14's SS who rambo infront of you till the beginning .
- As a Medic, your mates will go infront of you when you shot a perfect healing-darts on a low life's mate (and he will usually be killed by the gorefast close to him).
- As a Zerk , your mates will shot the Scrake infront of you and will spare the crawlers - gorefast - siren lives that are just behind him. Then the scrake will attack you and the gorefast will cut you out . The good news ? The scrake has been killed ... by your mates .
- You've learned to dislike the stairs due to the Husk .
- You will usually be killed by a Pipe bomb that you've dropped 4 waves ago .
- "XXXX has been blew up" will be the best thing that will happen on a annoying Demoman when you're a zerk .
- The "I need some money"'s users (spammers?) dont even know that there is a "Thanks !" command .
- As support , you will die just after you've bought 10 grenades . What a waste .
- You dont know how this crawler managed to dodge all these hunting shotgun's pellets .
- You will manage to find out your Arrow's mates (when you don't expect it) but you will have a hard time to found your own .
(Soz for my english x) )
- Against the patriarch, you will duck when he's firing his rocket hoping that he will miss the shot ... but he will hit the guy right behind you . Great double-blow-up .
- The 9mm is the best friend of the worstest commandos . It's not CS ffs ! You'll usually hate him.
- You wish that the FF is ON to kill this M14's SS who rambo infront of you till the beginning .
- As a Medic, your mates will go infront of you when you shot a perfect healing-darts on a low life's mate (and he will usually be killed by the gorefast close to him).
- As a Zerk , your mates will shot the Scrake infront of you and will spare the crawlers - gorefast - siren lives that are just behind him. Then the scrake will attack you and the gorefast will cut you out . The good news ? The scrake has been killed ... by your mates .
- You've learned to dislike the stairs due to the Husk .
- You will usually be killed by a Pipe bomb that you've dropped 4 waves ago .
- "XXXX has been blew up" will be the best thing that will happen on a annoying Demoman when you're a zerk .
- The "I need some money"'s users (spammers?) dont even know that there is a "Thanks !" command .
- As support , you will die just after you've bought 10 grenades . What a waste .
- You dont know how this crawler managed to dodge all these hunting shotgun's pellets .
- You will manage to find out your Arrow's mates (when you don't expect it) but you will have a hard time to found your own .
(Soz for my english x) )
Last edited:
Upvote
0