Murphy laws of Killing Floor

[derito]

You will always forget to get close to the trader before the end of the wave the same time someone else decided to level his welding points on every single door between you and the trader.

As soon as you get level 6 in one perk, you will find out that you don't want to use it anymore.

The berserker has a hidden effect: "multiply the crawlers/zed ratio by 2 in a diameter of 20 meters around him"

You kill more stalkers with your mp7 while watching your allies back than you do while playing commando.

The berserker's free weapon is made to be sold, not used.

When someone spots the pat far away the demo will spam with his m32 to protect him against the sharp's bolts.

Gorefasts will follow and butcher you wherever you go... despite being beheaded.

 

[acolyte_to_jippity]

regardless of how good you are with a 9mm, it's not a good idea to show noobs that fact. Just because you can cap heads off of gorefasts and clots across the map does not mean they can...but they will try. And then, when all but one dies (you saved that one) they get to the shop and ***** at you for money.

give them money, they all laugh at you for being a noob (irony eh?) and using the "one small pistol lol", proceed to but the "big pistol lol" and proceed to show you how easily they can get killed off.

 

[Colonel Panic]

In the average game you will have 3 deaths, and all of them will be TKs.

 

[CandleJack]

You see the new is a level 6 sharpshooter, and automatically assume he got it legit, and thus is skilled with his perk.

He buys the M14EBR.

 

[YFGHNG]

He buys the M14EBR.

That reminds me. I still have to get that one achievement for the M14.

 

[KingJoker]

(Dont know if Candle did this yet)

When you choose the medic perk, players will run from you.

 

[SMIFF]

You see the new is a level 6 sharpshooter, and automatically assume he got it legit, and thus is skilled with his perk.

He buys the M14EBR.

Lol, that pisses me off.

Whenever i see the red laser on that big peice of metal in some smug level 6 sharpie's hands, i rage, and TK them if its a friendly fire server.

 

[CandleJack]

Lol, that pisses me off.

Whenever i see the red laser on that big peice of metal in some smug level 6 sharpie's hands, i rage, and TK them if its a friendly fire server.

I applaud your actions, there should be more people like you.

 

[vealck]

When you're chopping a Scrake with your katana on friendly fire enabled server, the last thing you'll ever see is a crossbow bolt going through your head, thanks to some sharpie with parkinsons'.

 

[Colonel Panic]

Lol, that pisses me off.

Whenever i see the red laser on that big peice of metal in some smug level 6 sharpie's hands, i rage, and TK them if its a friendly fire server.

If he's the type to do that after wave 6, the TKing usually happens naturally, as he's also dumb enough to step in front of other teammates to try and steal their kills. I think we had a total of 3 ragequits in my last game due to some hotshot sharpie picking up an EBR, then doing stupid **** to get himself killed.

 

[C_Gibby]

Just because this thread is awesome! :IS2:

PS: Dunno if it's been said already, but:

That crawler always somehow manages to survive your last shotgun blast.

 

[timur]

- when you join a FF server, you will be instant-killed by a lvl6 sharpie who will kill the entire team wave 10....

-Medic darts never hit unless the target has nearly full health

-You will always be killed by a crawler when trying to heal from a close encounter, leaving you with a syringe left behind instead of your AA12

-The FP will always go after you, even if your teammate enraged it.

-Demomen will always unload on scrakes, thereby accomplishing nothing but clouding your view.

-Right when you think you can snatch victory from defeat, a FP spawns behind you.

 

[CandleJack]

The gorefast will evade your shotgun blast at point blank range because the muzzle was sticking through him.

 

[vealck]

The more valuable for the team the player is, the more fleshpounds will lock on his ***. They will leave lvl1 commando that accidentally joined to hard server for last.

 

[Uk1t4k3]

You must drop 3 grenades to suicide.

 

[Undedd Jester]

- Players joining late in the server will always connect with 15 seconds to spare, spawn an extra players worth of Zeds and actually ready up 1 second after the waves starts...

- When on 0 armour and low HP, the exact moment you pull out your syringe is the exact moment a clot will ninja grab you

- No matter how much warning you give before the end of the wave, whenever you say "I'm going to switch to medic" at least 2 other people will do the same

- When rushing to the trader with little time left you will make it with just enough time to sell your weapon, but not actually buy one.

 

[Noboty]

I play Commando and have been killed by crawlers. Therefore, the law about Commandos always receiving the finishing blow that kills them from stalkers isn't true.

 

[Uk1t4k3]

- Players joining late in the server will always connect with 15 seconds to spare, spawn an extra players worth of Zeds and actually ready up 1 second after the waves starts...

- When on 0 armour and low HP, the exact moment you pull out your syringe is the exact moment a clot will ninja grab you

- No matter how much warning you give before the end of the wave, whenever you say "I'm going to switch to medic" at least 2 other people will do the same

- When rushing to the trader with little time left you will make it with just enough time to sell your weapon, but not actually buy one.

All of the above are true except the second one. Instead a crawler or husk would be likely to finish you off.

 

[Sammers]

- Players wounded the least who aren't busy in the slightest, will constantly scream MEDIC at you until you heal them and expect you to ignore the other players and risk your life to do it.

 

[Uk1t4k3]

- The most triggered voice commands are medic, i need some money and player insults.

- Usually newcomer will steal your weapon on the floor during final wave even if you give them all your cash.

- 99.99% of the time when someone died with perk below level 2 instantly ragequit from the game.