Here are some brilliant ideas on all thing to exist. If you do not like my ideas, you are a troll, elistist scum, an idiot, not a pro, too much of a pro, and an overall bad person who runs over the elderly when they see them crossing an intersection, and also has a pile of dead volunteers who were heading to save children in Sudan.
Sharpshooter
I demand a sniper rifle of enormous magnitudes that can bring down anything in one hit. Thats right; it fires flaming sharks from the barrel (to be precise, 35x6 foot Great White NPSH brand sharks, with laser sight attachements made by David Boey industries). These sharks will grasp onto zeds using hooks on its fins, and then deploy chainsaws from its gills, which will dig into the specimen's belly. The shark, firmly attached to the zed, would then feast on the specimen's face. The sniper should be able to fire at exactly 200 sharks-per-second, and have recharging ammo.
It should be 2 dosh (for balancing purposes), and should be able to carry a team on HoE. Why? Because, if done correctly, the team should have dropped their guns and would be writhing on the ground in ectasy upon seeing this gun in action. In fact, upon seeing my amazing skill, Harry Enfeild's clones will burst out of their bellies, Alien style, and begin acting as backup dancers, as I lead in a full budget production of Loadsa Emone, much to the applause of my teammates, who are now dieing of blood loss and internal organ damage. Also, when I am finished, I desire the ability to actually use an alt fire that fires M-14s that fire Sharks at them.
Firebug
I thought very hard on this, and eventually, it hit me like a bullfrog being launched from a catapult: we have explored the FIRE bit, but what about the BUG?! We MUST use all caps, and therefore we MUST create this. It is a madness caterpillar, which is furry and looks like a potato. It can be chucked at enemies, and will cause them to believe they are insurance salesmen. This seems bad, right? After all, the horror you just made would be far worse than the originals...until they explode into fireworks! Which are edible! This will be extra satisfying, and will allow your team to enjoy a nutritious and much required snack.
Also, make all weapons incendiary and allow the use of your teammate's nostrils as high velocity particle cannons.
Support Specialist
The ability to launch doors is a must. That's right; rip doors off their hinges, and then use them as riot sheilds. And then, when the zeds knock on the doors, open the door and tell them that your not home! Bloody brilliant! Then, when all the zeds are confused, whip out your newly made TripleBarrel Automatic Welding Boomstick, and weld their faces with 18 barrels of soft, sexy, justice. Then, exactly 2 days after release, remove all support weapons as part of the new nerf.
Commando
Akimbo Chainguns. That launch bloody frogs, which are more useful than you lot. I want to be able to go up to a hallway filled with 28 fleshpounds, and immediately fill them with hot amphibian, until they are dead, leaving me to be worshipped by my team as a hero.
I also demand akimbo m14s that fire tasers fire pepper spray.
This will all be for balance, as currently, I tried soloing the HoE 6-man patriarch as a lvl3commando, and it didnt work, which is an outrage.
Zerker
Give him the ability to fly like a ninja, but remove all his weapons in the accompanying nerf, as to force him to STRANGLE THEM WITH HIS BEAR HANDs. And thats not a typo, I also want bear hands instead of human.
Medic
I am shocked and appalled that the medic actually doesnt kill things as well. So I propose the addition of something that suits the name...as in, dual weildable bazookas that launch nuclear ammo that calls down lighting strikes that are actually aliens from mars that have whips and whip specimen. This is clearly reasonable.
Demoman
I demand the ability to have a chaingun with a rocket launcher attachement, and to make it fit the demoman, it will actually launch angry inhabitants of the Isle of Man from each explosion, and each Mananian will self destruct upon realizing that no one likes the Isle of Man.
I plan on posting specimen ideas as soon as the community bows down to my superiority and begins creation of my beautiful vision. This is why I have a heroic name, UltraSuperMegaAlphaOmegaCyclopsKillerPwnerWinnerShooterSuperSearganttotheMax.
Sharpshooter
I demand a sniper rifle of enormous magnitudes that can bring down anything in one hit. Thats right; it fires flaming sharks from the barrel (to be precise, 35x6 foot Great White NPSH brand sharks, with laser sight attachements made by David Boey industries). These sharks will grasp onto zeds using hooks on its fins, and then deploy chainsaws from its gills, which will dig into the specimen's belly. The shark, firmly attached to the zed, would then feast on the specimen's face. The sniper should be able to fire at exactly 200 sharks-per-second, and have recharging ammo.
It should be 2 dosh (for balancing purposes), and should be able to carry a team on HoE. Why? Because, if done correctly, the team should have dropped their guns and would be writhing on the ground in ectasy upon seeing this gun in action. In fact, upon seeing my amazing skill, Harry Enfeild's clones will burst out of their bellies, Alien style, and begin acting as backup dancers, as I lead in a full budget production of Loadsa Emone, much to the applause of my teammates, who are now dieing of blood loss and internal organ damage. Also, when I am finished, I desire the ability to actually use an alt fire that fires M-14s that fire Sharks at them.
Firebug
I thought very hard on this, and eventually, it hit me like a bullfrog being launched from a catapult: we have explored the FIRE bit, but what about the BUG?! We MUST use all caps, and therefore we MUST create this. It is a madness caterpillar, which is furry and looks like a potato. It can be chucked at enemies, and will cause them to believe they are insurance salesmen. This seems bad, right? After all, the horror you just made would be far worse than the originals...until they explode into fireworks! Which are edible! This will be extra satisfying, and will allow your team to enjoy a nutritious and much required snack.
Also, make all weapons incendiary and allow the use of your teammate's nostrils as high velocity particle cannons.
Support Specialist
The ability to launch doors is a must. That's right; rip doors off their hinges, and then use them as riot sheilds. And then, when the zeds knock on the doors, open the door and tell them that your not home! Bloody brilliant! Then, when all the zeds are confused, whip out your newly made TripleBarrel Automatic Welding Boomstick, and weld their faces with 18 barrels of soft, sexy, justice. Then, exactly 2 days after release, remove all support weapons as part of the new nerf.
Commando
Akimbo Chainguns. That launch bloody frogs, which are more useful than you lot. I want to be able to go up to a hallway filled with 28 fleshpounds, and immediately fill them with hot amphibian, until they are dead, leaving me to be worshipped by my team as a hero.
I also demand akimbo m14s that fire tasers fire pepper spray.
This will all be for balance, as currently, I tried soloing the HoE 6-man patriarch as a lvl3commando, and it didnt work, which is an outrage.
Zerker
Give him the ability to fly like a ninja, but remove all his weapons in the accompanying nerf, as to force him to STRANGLE THEM WITH HIS BEAR HANDs. And thats not a typo, I also want bear hands instead of human.
Medic
I am shocked and appalled that the medic actually doesnt kill things as well. So I propose the addition of something that suits the name...as in, dual weildable bazookas that launch nuclear ammo that calls down lighting strikes that are actually aliens from mars that have whips and whip specimen. This is clearly reasonable.
Demoman
I demand the ability to have a chaingun with a rocket launcher attachement, and to make it fit the demoman, it will actually launch angry inhabitants of the Isle of Man from each explosion, and each Mananian will self destruct upon realizing that no one likes the Isle of Man.
I plan on posting specimen ideas as soon as the community bows down to my superiority and begins creation of my beautiful vision. This is why I have a heroic name, UltraSuperMegaAlphaOmegaCyclopsKillerPwnerWinnerShooterSuperSearganttotheMax.
Spoiler!
![ChairmanMurder[Forge]](/data/avatars/s/31/31988.jpg?1568638684){kind=avatar}
