[Movie] Uwe Boll to stop directing...

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ShadowbaneX

FNG / Fresh Meat
Nov 21, 2005
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I have a feeling that it'll get the million signatures, but I'll be really amazed if he actually stops.
 

Murphy

FNG / Fresh Meat
Nov 22, 2005
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He won't, just as I wouldn't. It's a very fun job and he is making good money with it I presume. Why would he want to stop just because of some angry video-game nerds?

Still, he'll be forced to respond once the million signature barrier is breached and I am very much looking forward to that. :)
 

SchutzeSepp

FNG / Fresh Meat
Sep 23, 2006
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yay, im the 126522'th signer of the petition!

i have no idea who uwe boll is actually.
 

Murphy

FNG / Fresh Meat
Nov 22, 2005
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For those who don't know:
Boll is a director who has taken several videogames and turned them into movies.

Games have a certain quality to their story that just doesn't fit into a movie. It's ok or even great for a game, but not for a real film!
Kind of like a porn-movie can have a plot and everyone's like: "Oh, look, what a wonderful plot" when in fact it is abysmal, but at least there is one at all!
It's similar with games.
As most games don't have a real plot at all, those that do take the extra mile to present one that is at least somewhat intriguing are hailed for their awesome story - with reviewers and fans often mistaking atmosphere for story!

Making a movie out of those REQUIRES you to butcher the original plot OR to just make a crappy movie with what you've got.

Uwe Boll, and here is the problem, did both. He butchered the games while still coming up with crappy movies.

A quote from the imdb.com trivia section about him:
All three of the films he's directed that were based upon video games, House of the Dead (2003), Alone in the Dark (2005), and BloodRayne (2005) are listed on the IMDb Bottom 100. The other seven films he's directed, including Heart of America (2003), Blackwoods (2002) and Erste Semester, Das (1997) are not widely available in America, but have received similarly low ratings among those who have seen them.
 
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smokeythebear

Grizzled Veteran
Nov 21, 2005
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Apparently he takes advantage of a film investment law in Germany that was put in place to promote investment in local films. So investors of the film only pay taxes on the profit of the movie and anything lost is accepted as a tax wright off. Way to waste taxpayer money, Uwe!
 

Profe

FNG / Fresh Meat
Jan 29, 2007
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Why would he want to stop just because of some angry video-game nerds?
DUDE!! This was my whole argument in that other thread :D, but let's not get into it.

I've never seen an Uwe Boll flick, video game flicks are usually terrible, not just Boll's.
 

Murphy

FNG / Fresh Meat
Nov 22, 2005
7,067
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Boll's video response to the petition skyrocketing :D:
http://www.maxconsole.net/?mode=news&newsid=26745

I'm a tad dissapointed by that.

He presents himself as a narcistic prick!
I would have expected him to either lash out at those signing and founding the petition or to step back of his promise. Instead he invents a new rule that wasn't there when he (jokingly?) accepted the deal and calls himself a genious and Micheal Bay an idiot? I won't argue about the latter, but come on...

I appreciate a deliberate B-movie as much as only few people I know do - but the fun stops, or rather, it comes to a scrinching halt for me when:
a) ... the B-movie in question takes itself serious.
b) ... Casper van Dien or Christian Slater-like dramaqueens think they can use it as a vehicle to sell their awfull acting capabilities.
c) ... when they are violent, racist, mysogenistic (sp?) or a glorification of the military without a detectable sarcastic tone.
d) ... when it's just a rip-off of something popular without being an homage to it!

Boll is guilty of all of them.

That he calls himself a genius in anything but an ironic context is disturbing to watch.
That he takes Micheal Bay as an example for "social critique bull****" after the mindless 'Dawson Creek VS. CGI' flick called 'Transformers' for marketing purposes, causes confusion on my end, because Micheal Bay's days of social critique lasted about as long as the PR campaign of "The Island" and the only real social critique I can detect in that shallow piece of film is that we are appearantly buying the wrong brands...
Insulting a colleague who has done no harm to him doesn't shed an all too bright light on him though, not matter what your personal opinion of said colleague is!

The only thing Boll ever did that can, in the remotest sense, be described as "genious" is that he found a way for people to finance his movies without financial losses by exploiting a German tax law that was meant to help indie film-makers produce real movies.
His movies are basically money sinks for rich, fat, cigar-smoking, bowler-hat-wearing capitalists disguised as excuses for movies. That the movies themselves are nothing but cash-ins on popular names just makes matters worse.

I'm sorry, but that's not genious: That's a spit in the face of every fan of the source-material, movies in general and even a good society in general.

On a lighter note though: I think I know what Mr. Boll is doing right now:

He is sitting in his basement, registering one faked email adress after the other to get some signatures onto the pro-Boll site. :D
 

WickedPenguin

FNG / Fresh Meat
Nov 21, 2005
669
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ut2004.wickedpenguin.com
I watched BloodRayne last year, the only Boll movie I've subjected myself to. At least with BloodRayne, the movie really is like a video game. Given the end product, that's not really a good thing. However, I do appreciate that aspect of the film (whether it was intentional or not).

Let me elaborate:

Game Example: Legend of Zelda / Ocarina of Time.
  • As Link, you are given a quest to retrieve an item from a dungeon.
  • You journey to this dungeon and enter it.
  • You fight your way through a horde of nameless enemy foot soldiers.
  • You reach a locked door, behind which is the item.
  • The door is blocked by a nasty mini-boss who has the key.
  • You engage the mini-boss one on one and kill him.
  • You retrieve the key from his corpse and unlock the door.
  • You enter the room with the item.
  • The item is guarded by a series of traps.
  • You use your special abilities creatively to bypass these traps.
  • You acquire the item and gain its powers.
  • The traps miraculously disappear.
  • Unfortunately, some other disaster has happened in the world outside and you get assigned another task to accomplish.
  • Rinse. Repeat ad infinitum.
Boll Example: BloodRayne
  • Rayne is given a quest to retrieve an item from a castle.
  • She journeys to this dungeon and enters it.
  • She fights her way through a horde of nameless enemy foot soldiers.
  • She reaches a locked door, behind which is the item.
  • The door is blocked by a nasty mini-boss who has the key.
  • She engages the mini-boss one on one and kill him.
  • She retrieves the key from his corpse and unlock the door.
  • She enters the room with the item.
  • The item is guarded by a series of traps.
  • She uses her special abilities - in this those two arm-blades she carries - creatively to bypass these traps.
  • She acquires the item and gain its powers.
  • The traps miraculously disappear.
  • Unfortunately, some other disaster has happened in the world outside and she gets assigned another task to accomplish.
  • Rinse. Repeat ad infinitum.
Now, that tidbit doesn't make up for....oh, I don't know... bad acting, bad special effects, bad writing, bad direction, and the indescribable crime of making Kristanna Loken look bad.... even when she's topless and screwing some guy against iron bars. The movie has zero character development and a lot of it simply doesn't make sense. I wouldn't say it's the worst movie I've ever seen (Battlefield Earth still holds that crown) but it's just about there. It's a very stiff, serious movie that is ultimately pretty boring.

Not to say that a game can't be a good movie. The problem with converting a lot of games into movies is that adventure and platform games typically are all about plot, with little character development. Like the examples above, many games just follow a linear path of A > B > C > D while the character remains the same throughout. Like Nintendo's Mario, for instance. He has zero character aside from a few catchphrases and his endless urge to go snag Princess Peach. That doesn't make the games any less fun to play, but you don't feel anything for Mario. He's just a puppet running around. Link's the same way: he doesn't change much throughout the games.

I think you need to connect emotionally with the character in some way for it to transfer well to a movie format.

A few games that I feel would make good movies are:
  • Beyond Good and Evil: A terrific sci-fi conspiracy story played through the eyes of Jade, a journalist who finds herself awakening to a plethora of secrets that affect her world and her life. Hands down my favorite game on the GameCube.
  • Condemned: A very graphic game where you're an FBI Agent framed for murder. As you track down the serial killer who framed you, you begin to learn that you are not all that you seemed to be. It'd be a decent movie in the Running Scared kind of vein.
  • Eternal Darkness: Another fantastic GameCube game. A young woman investigates her uncle's brutal murder, uncovering an evil that traces back two millennia and three continents. While it does have a linear progression, the way it jumps across time and geographical locations to visit different characters' story arcs would be pretty neat to see on-screen.
That said, there's still no requirement for a game/film to have a sensible plot and character development to be simply entertaining. :) I loved the original Mortal Kombat movie, as it didn't take itself very seriously and had everything that an MK fan could ask for (minus gore). Damn that PG-13 rating...

I don't mind turning my brain off to enjoy some silly movie. Boll's problem is that he takes his films seriously as film making art pieces instead of the schlock they really are.
 

LemoN

FNG / Fresh Meat
Feb 26, 2006
6,293
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Prussotroll's Bridge
i actually liked his Postal film :D

Reporter: Mr Boll how did you finance this fairypark?
Uwe Boll: With nazi gold of course! someones GOT to spend it.
Reporter: ur kidding me right?
Uwe Boll: not rly, wanna see it? (packs out some goldteeth) :D
 
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Coey

FNG / Fresh Meat
Mar 16, 2006
1,708
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StreetFighterMoviePoster.jpg


http://youtube.com/watch?v=H5jzl5761Zw

And if that's not enough they even made a game of the movie of the game.

Just no.
 
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