Once upon a time there was a little drone with a shiny red carapace called Little Red Riding Zerg. One day an Overlord told RRZ to go to the expansion on the far side of the map with a basket of vespene gas for the sick Queen there.
“Now be careful,” the Overlord said, “hurry quickly past the watchtowers and do not talk to any strangers. Especially not any Terrans. They’re sneaky and dishonest and so totally OP.”
LRRZ said she’d be careful and left. It was a pretty day, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping happily and soon she became so lost in her merry skipping (drones can skip, they just choose not to) that soon the Overlord’s warning was pushed clean out of her head.
Unbeknownst to the wayward drone, nearby lurked the Big Bad Reaper.
“Hello, sweet little….thing.” He said, hopping down from a cliff, though he’d really meant to stand up there but had screwed up his micro again, “where, pray tell, are you going with that basket of gassy goodness?” Trusting innocent that she was, Red Riding Zerg replied, “to the gold expansion on the far side of the map. My Queen is sick and she needs this vespene!” The sneaky, dishonest and totally OP Terran unit smiled and said he understood and wouldn’t keep her waiting. As she continued on her way his Nitro pack research finished and that, combined with his cliff jumping, allowed the Big Bad Reaper to reach the expansion first. He found an unguarded expansion with but a sick queen (she was at 15 hp). Wasting no time, he quickly kited the poor Queen to death and then, being the twisted creature he was, carved a hole in her carapace, went inside the corpse and began moving her in a macabre puppet-like manner.
Shortly afterward Little Red Riding Zerg appeared. Suspecting nothing she said, “I have brought the gas my Queen, may the Swarm prosper!” The Big Bad Reaper replied, doing his best to sound like the Queen, “My dear, could you come a little closer? I am weak and infirm from being a stupid underpowered Zerg.” She approached, but then began to notice---certain features, prompting her to ask curiously, “Why Queenie, what a big jetpack you have.” “The better to plagiarize Warhammer 40K with, my dear,” said the Reaper. RRZ inched closer, “Why Queenie, what low supply you have.” “The better to rush with, my dear.” “And Queenie,” she was practically within probe attack range now, “what big fancy pistols and explosives you have.” “The better to destroy your economy with my dear, just call me Obama!” The big bad Reaper roared, throwing off his disguise and cocking his pistols, “double slugs in the brain, how’s that for change?”
That should have been the end of Little Red Riding Zerg. However a hydralisk who was nearby in the woods doing—hydralisk things, heard the screams and gunshots coming from the expansion. Equally fortunate, the sick Queen has managed to drop some creep tumors so he actually got there in time to do something. And so something he did. A few well-placed spine shots later and the Big Bad Reaper was doing one of the most awesome death animations in SC2. As for Red Riding Zerg, she survived the first volley thanks to an upgraded carapace, but returned to the hive that day with a very important lesson: Terran is OP.
