AlWAYS AND I MEAN ALWAYS GIVE HER THE ONE LAST BIG SNOTROCKET, before you give her the boot. Make it all about yourself and your final release dude. Do not give her the satisfaction of getting her off!
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So I just broke up
- Thread starter SnotRocket
- Start date
AlWAYS AND I MEAN ALWAYS GIVE HER THE ONE LAST BIG SNOTROCKET, before you give her the boot. Make it all about yourself and your final release dude. Do not give her the satisfaction of getting her off!
I see you going far in life...perhaps one day you will move up to a management position at a supermarket. Oh what glorious days those will be!
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I had a very similar situation a few years back trust me mate you're doing the right thing. It may sting like a ***** now but in time you'll realise you did what was right. Go out there and find someone better buddy and best of luck.
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I just broke up with my fiance of almost 2 years. Probably the best thing I ever did.
To start, in my limited knowledge of relationships, I have found out that there are two types of people in relationships. Those that change, hopefully for the better, and those that don't. In the OP's position, the lady he knew changed for the worse. Things happen that way sometimes. There is a lot of emotional investment that goes on in a relationship, and when things start to go awry, it can hurt. But hopefully you grow and become a better person with the things that you learn while you're in one.
In my case, the lady I knew just never changed. She was one of those types that I'm sure a few of us have run into that I guess you could say just didn't get it. I really felt disappointed throughout much of the relationship because so many times I really thought she could have done a lot better. It wasn't a one-time thing that got to me, but a continuation of things that went on basically since the start of our relationship of nearly two years. In truth, I should have ended it a long time ago, but I'm an extremely patient and forgiving person, and I clung on with the hopes that she would "wake up" so to speak. By the end, I felt really torn wondering what exactly our relationship meant to her. After all, there was a ring on her finger. But what was it to her? Was I some kind of escape from her household? Was I some kind of idea to her? Was I just a friend? After nearly two years of being disappointed because it never seemed like she put more than the required minimum effort into the relationship, my patience was spent. Do I regret the times? No, we did have some really great times together, but I did come out with one valuable lesson that I will cherish with me for the rest of my life:
You have a right to your own happiness. Don't get caught up with the idea that the person you're with is the last person on earth. There are three billion fish in the sea. One of them out there is right for you. If things don't work out, cast your line and try again.
To start, in my limited knowledge of relationships, I have found out that there are two types of people in relationships. Those that change, hopefully for the better, and those that don't. In the OP's position, the lady he knew changed for the worse. Things happen that way sometimes. There is a lot of emotional investment that goes on in a relationship, and when things start to go awry, it can hurt. But hopefully you grow and become a better person with the things that you learn while you're in one.
In my case, the lady I knew just never changed. She was one of those types that I'm sure a few of us have run into that I guess you could say just didn't get it. I really felt disappointed throughout much of the relationship because so many times I really thought she could have done a lot better. It wasn't a one-time thing that got to me, but a continuation of things that went on basically since the start of our relationship of nearly two years. In truth, I should have ended it a long time ago, but I'm an extremely patient and forgiving person, and I clung on with the hopes that she would "wake up" so to speak. By the end, I felt really torn wondering what exactly our relationship meant to her. After all, there was a ring on her finger. But what was it to her? Was I some kind of escape from her household? Was I some kind of idea to her? Was I just a friend? After nearly two years of being disappointed because it never seemed like she put more than the required minimum effort into the relationship, my patience was spent. Do I regret the times? No, we did have some really great times together, but I did come out with one valuable lesson that I will cherish with me for the rest of my life:
You have a right to your own happiness. Don't get caught up with the idea that the person you're with is the last person on earth. There are three billion fish in the sea. One of them out there is right for you. If things don't work out, cast your line and try again.
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That's allways easy enough to say, especially in the case when you are the one breaking up.
My girlfriend broke up with me, while i still loved her, and whenever people said this to me (and practically everybody does) i just wanted to punch a hole in them.
A long time i couldnt even bear the thought of someone else, and when people said that to me it just struck me as being insensitive.
Basically to me it makes it sound like your emotions werent that big a deal, "oh there are plenty of others out there" but what the **** do i care when she is the only one i wanted?
People expected me to get over it so quickly, by lines such as that, or as 'is it still bothering you??' (thanks mom... so great to hear such a thing coming from you.. of all persons she should have known my feelings dont just fade away that easily, when i feel something i REALLY feel something, strongly)
They made it sound like a joke, and hated them for it.
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Yeah. I went through the same processes about 2 years ago. Tough it out soldier, it will all be for the better even though it doesn't seem like it right now.
<3
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Well, I think it's part of the maturing process. Sometimes something is just over and you have to realize that and accept the situation. Yes, you can try and change things, yes you can make an effort to get back together, but at some point you just have to let it go.
If it's tearing you up for a long time, you've got to get a hold of yourself. I'd say if it's still a month later and you're still realy distraught by it, you're going a bit too far. Because there ARE other people out there, and you're only making your life crappier by sitting around and moping about it. If you still love the girl from before, try to let the romantic feelings go, so you can attempt to maintain at least a friendly relationship with her. Otherwise you'll go overboard and deep-six the whole situation, which often taints the good memories that you did share.
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Well, I don't mean "after a month go jump on some other girl". I'm saying if you're still getting severely emotionally distressed after that long, it's time to let it go. You can still resolve to stay single, not see other people, reflect on things, etc. But dont' let it consume you. That's what I'm saying.
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please let me take the time to let everyone who was too stupid to realize that my statement suggesting suicide as a solution to this young gentleman's problem was sarcastic. apparently, our wonderful moderators failed to realize it. snotrocket, if you're dead right now, sorry.
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Now now brotha.
Now I'm not making up this following story. This really happened. I was introduced to this girl once by a friend. I was hesitant at first. I was 22; she was 18. Obviously there was a few years difference between us, but we started talking and things started really blooming between the two of us. We got along fabulously, and we always had a great time when we hung out together. It seemed almost too good to be true, and it was. She was young, absolutely gorgeous, and still living under her mother's roof. Her mother, for some unknown reason, hated me. Still to this day I haven't a clue why; all I did was introduce myself and shake her hand. But having been in a bad relationship herself that ended with divorce, she really hated men. This gal's father was a true nutcase. As a result, her mother never trusted me simply for the fact that I was a guy. The irrationality of it sounds like it was pulled straight out a movie, but this really happened. As a result, she was pressured by her mother to call everything off. I was really devastated by it at the time. I really liked this girl, and she really liked me, but it couldn't go on any further because she simply couldn't take the pressure from her mother anymore.
I tell ya, nothing is worse than being judged by someone who doesn't even know you, or want to get to know you. I remember I'd be out jogging and suddenly become stricken in tears. You don't know emotional pain until it grabs you back the shoulders and brings you to your knees. It hurt that much. I thought people as a whole were better than that.
It took me a long time to digest it all, but if there was one thing I got out of that, it's that sometimes things just aren't meant to be. Relationships either work, or they don't. You can't make someone love you. The best thing you can do is learn from it and move on. I'm sure you're a good looking, confident guy with a great heart, a true gem of the male species, but you can't let these things get the best of you in the long run. Learn from your mistakes, go back out there, and give it another go.
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SnotRocket, yeah, sounds like you did the right thing. It's tough to get a big perspective now, but things obviously had been declining for a while. At some point, it was going to be over. For you, that was the "right" time ... There's never a -good- time, particularly.
I wish there were easy answers. Speaking as a guy whose first marriage never had an anniversary, though, I know there aren't.
In time, you'll lose all your doubts about whether you did the right thing. You'll wind up regretting the time you wasted, e.g., thinking maybe you should have done it sooner. That's also not a good thing -- live, learn, go on to live again.
I see you're in Georgia but don't know where. If I may make a suggestion, the same I've suggested to the Tripwire guys several times -- BBQ, sweet tea and a chance to stare at some of the hottest single mom's at Doug's Place, in Emerson. =)
I wish there were easy answers. Speaking as a guy whose first marriage never had an anniversary, though, I know there aren't.
In time, you'll lose all your doubts about whether you did the right thing. You'll wind up regretting the time you wasted, e.g., thinking maybe you should have done it sooner. That's also not a good thing -- live, learn, go on to live again.
I see you're in Georgia but don't know where. If I may make a suggestion, the same I've suggested to the Tripwire guys several times -- BBQ, sweet tea and a chance to stare at some of the hottest single mom's at Doug's Place, in Emerson. =)
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Well my GF wrote me a Dear John letter while I was at FT. Benning and turns out she was cheating on me and left me for another guy who in her on words is "the one". Did I mention that she is my neighbor at my apartment complex here in Auburn. Yeah so it sucks. Its alright I guess, Im just lonely and horny so thats the worst part, along with being all happy with her new guy.
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Well I do have her Facebook account info/password and some very uh...tasty pictures of her....
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