Reply with your funny stories about new guys

[smilin]

Last night I found myself saying, "yeah man you're an awesome sharpshooter. No way I could drop a fleshpound in five crossbow shots. Good job."

..he was the aggreable noob and frankly I kinda liked him.

The less agreeable noob was the one that got into the "oh yeah, push me shove you" contest with a couple people on our friendly fire server.

Someone finally got fed up with his sh1t and team killed him. I had seen what an *** he was but I'm not normally the one to get involved in that crap. However after he respawned from the TK he comes running towards the team, on fire, with 1/4 health and an army of zeds behind him. I'm the medic so he runs straight at me. Gawd man I just couldn't help it... It was comedy gold so I had to one-shot him instead of heal him.

Oh the cursing afterwards had me almost falling out of my chair. I didn't know those things about my mom and apparently I have tendencies towards men that I was unaware of. The fact I'm black was the biggest surprise though. I wiped the laugh-tear from my eye just as the banstick hit him.

 

[YoYoBatty]

Last night I found myself saying, "yeah man you're an awesome sharpshooter. No way I could drop a fleshpound in five crossbow shots. Good job."

..he was the aggreable noob and frankly I kinda liked him.

The less agreeable noob was the one that got into the "oh yeah, push me shove you" contest with a couple people on our friendly fire server.

Someone finally got fed up with his sh1t and team killed him. I had seen what an *** he was but I'm not normally the one to get involved in that crap. However after he respawned from the TK he comes running towards the team, on fire, with 1/4 health and an army of zeds behind him. I'm the medic so he runs straight at me. Gawd man I just couldn't help it... It was comedy gold so I had to one-shot him instead of heal him.

Oh the cursing afterwards had me almost falling out of my chair. I didn't know those things about my mom and apparently I have tendencies towards men that I was unaware of. The fact I'm black was the biggest surprise though. I wiped the laugh-tear from my eye just as the banstick hit him.

This ^ Legend! If only there was a video to go with lmfao. lol'd at the cursing part.

 

[C_Gibby]

I didn't know those things about my mom and apparently I have tendencies towards men that I was unaware of. The fact I'm black was the biggest surprise though. I wiped the laugh-tear from my eye just as the banstick hit him.

LMAO that's awesome!

 

[CandleJack]

Last night I found myself saying, "yeah man you're an awesome sharpshooter. No way I could drop a fleshpound in five crossbow shots. Good job."

..he was the aggreable noob and frankly I kinda liked him.

The less agreeable noob was the one that got into the "oh yeah, push me shove you" contest with a couple people on our friendly fire server.

Someone finally got fed up with his sh1t and team killed him. I had seen what an *** he was but I'm not normally the one to get involved in that crap. However after he respawned from the TK he comes running towards the team, on fire, with 1/4 health and an army of zeds behind him. I'm the medic so he runs straight at me. Gawd man I just couldn't help it... It was comedy gold so I had to one-shot him instead of heal him.

Oh the cursing afterwards had me almost falling out of my chair. I didn't know those things about my mom and apparently I have tendencies towards men that I was unaware of. The fact I'm black was the biggest surprise though. I wiped the laugh-tear from my eye just as the banstick hit him.

I hate you right now. How could you not record this for the world to see?

Lol jk i don't hate you :3

 

[nutterbutter]

"Guys can you hold up on the fire cause I can't see my laser down the hall"

 

[CandleJack]

"Guys can you hold up on the fire cause I can't see my laser down the hall"

I demand moar of this story. :IS2:

 

[Rogalik]

Ahh running into Fleshpound with a 9mm... Good old times...

 

[nutterbutter]

I demand moar of this story. :IS2:

Not much more to it. 4 Sharpies with m14s at biolabs spawn along with a commando and SCAR. I was a berserker running around the map because nothing will survive in any of those hallways for more than a sec.

Oh you'll love this. Patty time and all 6 of us are in the top level next to the trader. Patty spawns next to the double doors down from spawn. I run up and pop him and run back. As I'm running back I see the back doors and I'm thinking "nononononononononono" and I get closer I confirm that they have welded those double doors shut. So basically the entire team, or school, is at one end of a closed barrel. I back up a little and patty has already fired one rocket killing someone and taking a good chunk of my armor. I throw 3 grenades to open the door and it blows. He is still shooting and kills 2 more players but we have a way out. We all run into the large area just in time for the first wave of specimens to drop. Another player drops and patty rushes into the area and stabs the 5th player. I'm in the back corner and patty is at the double steps. Ok, I heal to 100% but I have the long long run out. If I can make it, I'll be fine. Halfway down the hall, the patty fires a rocket that had to have headshot me. Everyone dead.

 

[C_Gibby]

This has nothing to do with newbies, but it's a funny story nontheless...

I was a fully-stocked medic on Wyre, and all my teammates were dead. I had a LAR and Mp7 and Handcannons with 100% armor.

I had a good chance to win.


But then I was hit by the ultimate fluke.



The ball fell out of my mouse and I got killed due to the loss of control.

That's right. I've still got a ball-mouse.

 

[smilin]

The ball fell out of my mouse and I got killed due to the loss of control.

That's right. I've still got a ball-mouse.

You need a P/N 33F8462 most likely.

IBM Mouse Balls...

"Memo of the Month," From The Washington Monthly, January/February 1991, page 24:

This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us find it rather funny.
Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)

Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.
To re-order, specify one of the following: P/N 33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls
P/N 33F8461 - Foreign Mouse Balls
​