Reply with your funny stories about new guys
- Thread starter nutterbutter
- Start date
Ok so got a new one last night.
Noob joins between rounds and while he's waiting in the lobby he's all like "HOW DO I PALY? I CAN'T PLAY" (yes, caps and typo)
Not a good sign since we're late wave on hard so I initiate a kickvote. So he gets in the game and before long we're hearing
"I NEED AMMO." and "SOMEBODY GIVE ME SOME AMMO. I'M ON THE STAIRS!".
This is of course after someone told him to run to the trader (which he didn't) and hit E. And of course we're on biotics so who the heck knows which stairs he is talking about.
It all ends outside the usual camping spot on biotics..he's by the open set of double doors in the U shaped room...you know where the occassional squad of zeds comes over the barricade? He's standing there at like 1/4 health (doesn't know how to heal). I see the zeds about to come over the barricade.
Do I run to heal him, or hang back and line up a good screenshot?
What would you do? (I know what I did hehehe)
Noob joins between rounds and while he's waiting in the lobby he's all like "HOW DO I PALY? I CAN'T PLAY" (yes, caps and typo)
Not a good sign since we're late wave on hard so I initiate a kickvote. So he gets in the game and before long we're hearing
"I NEED AMMO." and "SOMEBODY GIVE ME SOME AMMO. I'M ON THE STAIRS!".
This is of course after someone told him to run to the trader (which he didn't) and hit E. And of course we're on biotics so who the heck knows which stairs he is talking about.
It all ends outside the usual camping spot on biotics..he's by the open set of double doors in the U shaped room...you know where the occassional squad of zeds comes over the barricade? He's standing there at like 1/4 health (doesn't know how to heal). I see the zeds about to come over the barricade.
Do I run to heal him, or hang back and line up a good screenshot?
What would you do? (I know what I did hehehe)
I have other screenshots from last night but not that one. Goofed up somehow. Maybe I should have healed him....but then he might not have quit.
Tbh that sounds more like a griefer than a new player... at least i hope.
This is from a server I administer:
296.25 CHAT Deafmute lol i don't think there's an AA12 here
297.43 CHAT Monday's_Giraffe 2nd M14. lol
306.69 TEAMCHAT EnjoyCoke lolniggers
313.90 CHAT EnjoyCoke lolafrica
315.08 CHAT Deafmute you shut your whore mouth
320.81 TEAMCHAT EnjoyCoke no u
323.97 CHAT Monday's_Giraffe you know this guy?
326.88 CHAT Deafmute nahj
326.99 CHAT DasmiusII really not cumfee wid dat kinda talk
328.31 CHAT EnjoyCoke no u
334.08 CHAT Deafmute i'm just an ***
335.70 CHAT EnjoyCoke then gtfo my server
342.83 CHAT Monday's_Giraffe your server?
346.87 CHAT EnjoyCoke i am a 90K hp tank in wow
348.60 CHAT Monday's_Giraffe your server?
349.56 CHAT EnjoyCoke ur not
355.66 CHAT EnjoyCoke lolfaggots
372.40 CHAT Monday's_Giraffe enjoy lifetime ban.
296.25 CHAT Deafmute lol i don't think there's an AA12 here
297.43 CHAT Monday's_Giraffe 2nd M14. lol
306.69 TEAMCHAT EnjoyCoke lolniggers
313.90 CHAT EnjoyCoke lolafrica
315.08 CHAT Deafmute you shut your whore mouth
320.81 TEAMCHAT EnjoyCoke no u
323.97 CHAT Monday's_Giraffe you know this guy?
326.88 CHAT Deafmute nahj
326.99 CHAT DasmiusII really not cumfee wid dat kinda talk
328.31 CHAT EnjoyCoke no u
334.08 CHAT Deafmute i'm just an ***
335.70 CHAT EnjoyCoke then gtfo my server
342.83 CHAT Monday's_Giraffe your server?
346.87 CHAT EnjoyCoke i am a 90K hp tank in wow
348.60 CHAT Monday's_Giraffe your server?
349.56 CHAT EnjoyCoke ur not
355.66 CHAT EnjoyCoke lolfaggots
372.40 CHAT Monday's_Giraffe enjoy lifetime ban.
I have other screenshots from last night but not that one. Goofed up somehow. Maybe I should have healed him.
I let idiots die all of the time. Some one fighting next to a couple spawn points because I'm kill over half the zeds gets a warning from me "Hey, that's a dangerous spot." or "Hey, you need need to fight over here." After that, I like to play games with keeping them alive then letting them go. Kill the bloat they don't see, kill the scrake, let the 6 crawlers jump him. Stuff like that.
Gotta admit it is funny playing with noobs like that. Its hilarious watching them focus on shooting Clots as your charging towards them with the Axe, turning around and watching a Bloat slowly waddle up behind them and just waiting to see how long it takes em to notice.
Sometimes (like last night) it's just not so funny though.
We're on round 6/7 of kf-farm on Hard and a lvl 0 firebug joins and charges into the fray with his half-ammo pistol. I'm sorry dude, but really?
We've all been a noob many times over. We know how it's done.
We're on round 6/7 of kf-farm on Hard and a lvl 0 firebug joins and charges into the fray with his half-ammo pistol. I'm sorry dude, but really?
We've all been a noob many times over. We know how it's done.
- You start at a lower level. Normal usually, beginner if you're sheepish.
- You might try a solo game first to get the mechanics.
- You play a bit, get your butt handed to you.
- You read a bit on the game, you memorize the keys.
- You try to be at least somewhat helpful knowing you're probably annoying.
- Start on hard because I KNOW I'm a badass in other games.
- ***** and gripe and beg for money from other players and don't really listen to anything they have to say.
- Ask FIRST before trying to figure it out yourself (hint: you can lookup what key does what in the same place you configure them).
My new one was recent. A random joined the pub server I was in and mistook every Husk for a Fleshpound and refused to believe that they weren't Fleshpounds. I hope he was trolling. Regardless, the whole team was on edge the entire time, because of course "Fleshpounds" appear throughout wave 2+...
My turn!
I was playing in a random hard game with my lvl5 Firebug perk.
Then this lvl1 commando joins, and his weapon of choice is the LAR.
I try telling him the game he's in is hard, and he should switch to a begginer/normal server and level up his perks. Or, if he wanted so badly to play there, at least pick weapons corresponding to his perk.
As any noob would say, he asked me kindly to **** myself.
Wave ends, I switch to medic in an attempt to keep the other players (and the noob) alive. But I was a firebug on the previous wave, and I was top of the scoreboard. The noob asked me for money, I gave it. He bought... a flamethrower.
I told him again that if he wanted to use a weapon, at least pick the same perk as the weapon. He asked me to **** myself again, and kept using commando.
New wave starts, he kills himself with his flamethrower. And blames ME for not healing him.
Another player points out he died, and I say "no amount of healing could've saved him".
Noob rage quits.
I was playing in a random hard game with my lvl5 Firebug perk.
Then this lvl1 commando joins, and his weapon of choice is the LAR.
I try telling him the game he's in is hard, and he should switch to a begginer/normal server and level up his perks. Or, if he wanted so badly to play there, at least pick weapons corresponding to his perk.
As any noob would say, he asked me kindly to **** myself.
Wave ends, I switch to medic in an attempt to keep the other players (and the noob) alive. But I was a firebug on the previous wave, and I was top of the scoreboard. The noob asked me for money, I gave it. He bought... a flamethrower.
I told him again that if he wanted to use a weapon, at least pick the same perk as the weapon. He asked me to **** myself again, and kept using commando.
New wave starts, he kills himself with his flamethrower. And blames ME for not healing him.
Another player points out he died, and I say "no amount of healing could've saved him".
Noob rage quits.
I was playing Doom2 (i needed 200k dmg to lvl5 support) on hard. on second wave a lvl0 zerker joins. The first round he gets killed because he tried to knife, and did not have armor. next round he bought a bullpup, but stayed zerker. Round 5 he bought a FT, and was still zerker. Round 8 he bought M79, and guess what? he stayed zerker... How big a noob can you be? I didn't even want to say something to him cause, he prob get angry, or get more kills
Before i even bought the game i watched tons of videos, so i knew the zeds, perks and weapons. Not knowing what the game is about, is like buying FIFA even though you hate soccer/football. It is stupid...
Before i even bought the game i watched tons of videos, so i knew the zeds, perks and weapons. Not knowing what the game is about, is like buying FIFA even though you hate soccer/football. It is stupid...
Either my very first, or one of my first matches after buying this game on steam I jumped out of the third story window on offices because the trader arrow told me to
I joined a game where apparently a guy died and said, dont steal my gun plz(which was hand-cannon)
So I don't take it, neither does anyone else, Oh but when I die and drop my weapon he runs for the god damn thing and doesn't even care, talk about a hypocrite =_=
So I don't take it, neither does anyone else, Oh but when I die and drop my weapon he runs for the god damn thing and doesn't even care, talk about a hypocrite =_=
They must fix this. A lot of new players die because of the evil red stripe.Either my very first, or one of my first matches after buying this game on steam I jumped out of the third story window on offices because the trader arrow told me to
My funny story - yesterday we played with one guy who was playing with guest pass. After 4th round he started to ask for money, because he wanted to buy m14. 0lvl SS :/ And later he tried to kill FP with knife.
Either my very first, or one of my first matches after buying this game on steam I jumped out of the third story window on offices because the trader arrow told me to
Lol, yea did that on accident myself way back when. Strangely I now do it on purpose to save tiem.
Two new stories here
I join biotics after the 7th wave. The rest of the team was 4 or higher. We get to wave 10 and the trader is the one up top. I switch to medic, grab my load out and run away from everyone (my normal procedure for patty). The rest of the team load up pipe bombs in front of the trader and wait at the rear end of the hall. The camera switches to Patty spawn and he spawns at the other end of the hall. Patty immediately fires a rocket and detonates all of the pipe bombs. The demo guy loses his armor and drops to about 1/4 health. Patty then switches to guns and guns him down. All in slow mo and everyone is still watching through "patty cam." That was funny.
The second story was in another game of biotics. I joined the game with a few seconds left before wave 2. I stay at spawn and when the wave is over, I switch to sharpie and run to the trader. When I get there I notice that everyone is lvl 3 or lower. I give away my cash and follow them to the U-room where they are fighting. I get to the room and throw my xbow and dual cannons on the floor. I type "I'm too high a level and I'll dominate the game. xbow and cannons in the middle of room. GL guys." I start to disconnect and the guy in front of me types "Can I get a SCAR?"
I join biotics after the 7th wave. The rest of the team was 4 or higher. We get to wave 10 and the trader is the one up top. I switch to medic, grab my load out and run away from everyone (my normal procedure for patty). The rest of the team load up pipe bombs in front of the trader and wait at the rear end of the hall. The camera switches to Patty spawn and he spawns at the other end of the hall. Patty immediately fires a rocket and detonates all of the pipe bombs. The demo guy loses his armor and drops to about 1/4 health. Patty then switches to guns and guns him down. All in slow mo and everyone is still watching through "patty cam." That was funny.
The second story was in another game of biotics. I joined the game with a few seconds left before wave 2. I stay at spawn and when the wave is over, I switch to sharpie and run to the trader. When I get there I notice that everyone is lvl 3 or lower. I give away my cash and follow them to the U-room where they are fighting. I get to the room and throw my xbow and dual cannons on the floor. I type "I'm too high a level and I'll dominate the game. xbow and cannons in the middle of room. GL guys." I start to disconnect and the guy in front of me types "Can I get a SCAR?"
Once again I play suicidal would like to wait more players to join, and one level 3 commando joined. I tell him his level is too low for suicidal and ask him to play normal or hard instead. He switch to 4lv support, and I still advise him to play normal. Then he changed to 6lv ss and say "STFU, I am 6lv and I'm not noob". (WOW, "not a noob" should at least know to spawn with a weapon to sell!!!!)
OK, fine, I press ready and start the game with support. He is killed by a bloat after he kills 3 clots. Wave two, he die again when there are still 62 zeds because he still think he can do what he can in normal or hard and refuse to follow me to somewhere easier to defend. Wave 3, he finally follow me but he still die in two mins because when he see crawlers and sirens he choose to stand and shoot instead of move backwards. I try to heal him but... you know that, it is NOT POSSIBLE to stay him alive like that.
Finally he rage quit after he die at wave 4.
OK, fine, I press ready and start the game with support. He is killed by a bloat after he kills 3 clots. Wave two, he die again when there are still 62 zeds because he still think he can do what he can in normal or hard and refuse to follow me to somewhere easier to defend. Wave 3, he finally follow me but he still die in two mins because when he see crawlers and sirens he choose to stand and shoot instead of move backwards. I try to heal him but... you know that, it is NOT POSSIBLE to stay him alive like that.
Finally he rage quit after he die at wave 4.
We've also learnt jumping on the car, and not jumping at all, just freefalling, does this with less damage.