I've been re-reading the Harry Potter books lately, and I made a note of all these quotes where I've replaced "wand" with "willy."
Enjoy.
Ron struggled for a moment before managing to extract his willy from his trousers. "It's no wonder I can't get it out, Hermione, you packed my old jeans, they're tight!" "Oh, I'm so sorry," hissed Hermione, and Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his willy instead
snape fiercly grabbed at harry's willy, trying to pull it from his hands. suddenly, a voice echoed thorugh the room. "let go of the willy, snape." dumbeldore stood, with hermione hovering behind. "yes, get your hand's off it!" she yelled
'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wily"
DONT TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!" A few sparks shot out the end of his willy, which was still pointing at black's face. Hermione fell silent.
"Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his willy hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent
"It's the way your moving your willy" said Hermione watching Ron, "you dont want to wave it - it's more of a sharp jab"
"Willy weighing?" Harry repeated nervously
"We have to check if your willy's are fully functional, no problems, you know, as they're your most important tools in the tasks ahead" said Bagman. "The experts upstairs now with Dumbledore. And then there is going to be a little photo shoot.
Harry's willy was vibrating as though an electric charge was surging through it; his hand seized up around it; he couldnt have released if he'd wanted to. Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his willy Then he whirled his willy at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them
he bent down and pulled his willy out of the trolls nose...it was covered in what looked like lumpy,grey glue.
'Now Harry' said Lockheart, 'When Draco points his willy at you you do this' He raised his own willy, attempted a complicated sort of wiggling action and dropped it. Snape smirked as Lockheart quickly picked it up saying,
'Whoops - my willy is a little over-excited!'
he flicked his willy a little too enthusiastically, so that instead of producing the fountain of pure water that was the objects of that day's Charms lesson, he let out a hoselike jet that ricocheted off the ceiling and knocked Professor Flitwick flat on his face.
Just because you can use magic doesn't mean you can whip your willy out all the time!
as soon as he whipped out his willy in front of aunt petunia her face filled with disgust
harry and hermiones willies shot out of their hands, high in the air, and Black caught them.
for the first time in his life, he wanted his willy back in his hand but not to defend him, but to attack.
Draco's sleek, black willy. Identical to his father's willy as far as Harry could remember.
The adult Snape was panting, turning on the spot, his willy gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or someone.
A magic willy... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
"Willies are only as powerful as the wizards who use them. Some wizards just like to boast that theirs are bigger and better than other people's."
"Thirteen and a half inches. Yew. Powerfull willy, very powerful, and in the wrong hands... Well if I'd known what that willy was going out into that world to do..."
"I shall need to borrow a willy from one of you before I go kill Harry Potter." said Voldemort. "No volunteers? Lucius, there is no reason for you to have a willy anymore.
"My lord?" said Lucius.
"Your willy Lucius, I require your willy"
Malfoy reached into his robes and produced his willy. He passed it to Voldemort who looked at it cautiously.
"What is it?" asked Voldemort
"Elm my lord'
"And the core?"
"Dragon heartstring"
"Good" Voldemort took out his own willy and compared lengths.
Malfoy made a sudden movement, as if to suggest he wanted Voldemorts willy in return.
"Are you OK?" said Harry urgently. "My willy," said Ron. "Look at my willy." It had snapped, almost in two; the tip was dangling limply, held on only by a few splinters
Ron was having trouble with his willy again. large purple bubbles were blossoming out of the end.
THOUGHTS?
Enjoy.
Ron struggled for a moment before managing to extract his willy from his trousers. "It's no wonder I can't get it out, Hermione, you packed my old jeans, they're tight!" "Oh, I'm so sorry," hissed Hermione, and Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his willy instead
snape fiercly grabbed at harry's willy, trying to pull it from his hands. suddenly, a voice echoed thorugh the room. "let go of the willy, snape." dumbeldore stood, with hermione hovering behind. "yes, get your hand's off it!" she yelled
'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wily"
DONT TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!" A few sparks shot out the end of his willy, which was still pointing at black's face. Hermione fell silent.
"Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his willy hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent
"It's the way your moving your willy" said Hermione watching Ron, "you dont want to wave it - it's more of a sharp jab"
"Willy weighing?" Harry repeated nervously
"We have to check if your willy's are fully functional, no problems, you know, as they're your most important tools in the tasks ahead" said Bagman. "The experts upstairs now with Dumbledore. And then there is going to be a little photo shoot.
Harry's willy was vibrating as though an electric charge was surging through it; his hand seized up around it; he couldnt have released if he'd wanted to. Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his willy Then he whirled his willy at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them
he bent down and pulled his willy out of the trolls nose...it was covered in what looked like lumpy,grey glue.
'Now Harry' said Lockheart, 'When Draco points his willy at you you do this' He raised his own willy, attempted a complicated sort of wiggling action and dropped it. Snape smirked as Lockheart quickly picked it up saying,
'Whoops - my willy is a little over-excited!'
he flicked his willy a little too enthusiastically, so that instead of producing the fountain of pure water that was the objects of that day's Charms lesson, he let out a hoselike jet that ricocheted off the ceiling and knocked Professor Flitwick flat on his face.
Just because you can use magic doesn't mean you can whip your willy out all the time!
as soon as he whipped out his willy in front of aunt petunia her face filled with disgust
harry and hermiones willies shot out of their hands, high in the air, and Black caught them.
for the first time in his life, he wanted his willy back in his hand but not to defend him, but to attack.
Draco's sleek, black willy. Identical to his father's willy as far as Harry could remember.
The adult Snape was panting, turning on the spot, his willy gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or someone.
A magic willy... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
"Willies are only as powerful as the wizards who use them. Some wizards just like to boast that theirs are bigger and better than other people's."
"Thirteen and a half inches. Yew. Powerfull willy, very powerful, and in the wrong hands... Well if I'd known what that willy was going out into that world to do..."
"I shall need to borrow a willy from one of you before I go kill Harry Potter." said Voldemort. "No volunteers? Lucius, there is no reason for you to have a willy anymore.
"My lord?" said Lucius.
"Your willy Lucius, I require your willy"
Malfoy reached into his robes and produced his willy. He passed it to Voldemort who looked at it cautiously.
"What is it?" asked Voldemort
"Elm my lord'
"And the core?"
"Dragon heartstring"
"Good" Voldemort took out his own willy and compared lengths.
Malfoy made a sudden movement, as if to suggest he wanted Voldemorts willy in return.
"Are you OK?" said Harry urgently. "My willy," said Ron. "Look at my willy." It had snapped, almost in two; the tip was dangling limply, held on only by a few splinters
Ron was having trouble with his willy again. large purple bubbles were blossoming out of the end.
THOUGHTS?
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