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Is the need to exercise a ridiculous symptom of what we’ve become? Absolutely. I recall being in a third-world country and driving by this guy at about 6 a.m. while I was on my way to get drunk at some ritzy beach resort that I couldn’t afford valet service at if I were in the states. He was a slight man, covered with stringy muscle, and he was tasked with moving this huge pile of stones, the lightest being around 70 pounds, I’d wager, about 100 feet to a riverside. At around 6 p.m., we drove back the same way, and he had almost completed this Herculean Labor. Twelve hours later, in scorching heat, this shoeless guy moved hundreds of huge rocks, by hand, over a considerable distance. That image always stuck with me, because I always wondered how he would respond if I told him that I moved heavy **** around for no real reason just to do it because my everyday life is so fantastically lazy. I envisioned myself as a Jacob Marley with no moral to impart, butpossessing of his arcane powers enabling me to whisk this man away to a Planet Fitness and watch his strong heart seize in fatal disbelief.
So as we spiral further and further to a mean waistband of 40, we find that even the
only source of our healthy salvation is being diluted to appeal to our universal tendency for path of least resistance. Places where you should seek absolution for the sins ofgluttony and sloth have become just another location to half-*** your way through life, all the while filling yourself with undeserved esteem when you proudly announce: “I’m going to the gym,” then proceed to use all the equipment as furniture and assume that fitness can be achieved through osmosis. Planet Fitness is an absurd juxtaposition of health coupled with the very laziness that undermines it. In the end, this isn’t about their retarded mission statement; it’s about the hypocrisy that penetrates every facet of our lives. Everything is tending toward lowered expectations, thus making the previous low standard the new high. We live in a world where “your personal best” is what you strive for when, in truth, your personal best ****ing sucks. "
- Person rants on Planet Fitness. I'd shake up a name if I could, that is brilliant brilliant stuff.
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