Murphy's Laws of RO

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Cpt-Praxius

FNG / Fresh Meat
Dec 12, 2005
3,300
1,667
0
Canadian in Australia
The likelihood of you hitting the "Windows" button and therefor minimizing RO and opening the start menu leaving yourself essentially afk in game will increase in proportion to how badly you need to dive/go prone.

Which is why I re-bound my key's back to old Doom/Quake Style Hybrid with use of arrow keys and num pad and surrounding keys..... I never once tried playing the whole WASD setup.... and I like how the windows key is far enough away from my pinky to not worrying about hitting it.
 

Gunther

FNG / Fresh Meat
Dec 11, 2009
2
0
0
28
West Virginia
The artillery strike just called in will land in the positon just capped

The % chance of being killed is inversly perportional to the chance you think you have of living

Just when you thought things couldnt get worse, the 2nd KV1 will arrive
 

Galslacht

FNG / Fresh Meat
Jan 5, 2010
376
103
0
You get banned on servers when you make a Southpark joke about the tanks and the human meat shield for racism.
 

Klaus

FNG / Fresh Meat
Feb 22, 2006
806
188
0
96
Israel, Tel-Aviv
Performing the most amazing flanking of your life, 10 minutes of going around the map through the most godforsaken holes that no one ever stepped in.. only to get shot by ROPlayer who got lost completely and found his way down there.
 

jones0430

FNG / Fresh Meat
Dec 27, 2005
128
6
0
71
Texas
After creeping, low-crawling, and skulking for 5 minutes, infiltrating the enemy lines, and are right behind the sniper/mg that has been devastating your team for most of the game, as you aim to head shoot him, you will be tk'd.
 

Klaus

FNG / Fresh Meat
Feb 22, 2006
806
188
0
96
Israel, Tel-Aviv
When the APC is the most crucial tool to success in a map (Like on Smolensk). The same 12 years old retard will always get to drive it to its impending doom.
 

Oldih

Glorious IS-2 Comrade
Nov 22, 2005
3,414
412
0
Finland
Everytime you have tank parked in good spot with a gunner and you switch to the bow MG position, some tank crewman hops in and drives your tank CHAERG style to enemy Panzerfaust\PTRD.
 

Zaqq

FNG / Fresh Meat
Mar 15, 2010
99
18
0
Ukraine
When you drop a bomb near bunker's door to blow it, many teammates will rush to the door to open it (they cannot, of course) before bomb will explode.

When you are rifleman you will encounter only enemy SMG-guys in 3 meters. When you finally take a SMG-guy, all enemies will be riflemen in the range of 50< meters.

When you are in cover, someone of your team will shoot near your back, then you will turn back and kill him. TKed teammate will not forgive you, of course. Ninja reflexes!
 

XTC

FNG / Fresh Meat
Jul 26, 2007
3
0
0
- ~~~~~ people hoard all the good ****

- No matter how far your satchel is... you die

- A satchel is more dangerous 50 feet away from a tank or person than on them/it

- You can blast away or even kill a tank with a PTRD or faust by being right next to it and they won't know you're there till they die but they can kill you from 200+ meters away by firing into the window you were observing out of...

- If you haven't seen the motorbike in Arad as a clown car, chances are its gonna flip you soon

- Satchels will be ignored by the enemy in infantry maps like kessel when thrown in their huddled circles but will attract the attention of friendlies in an instant

More to be added soon!
 

Major Liability

FNG / Fresh Meat
Apr 14, 2010
921
165
0
New York
-The chance of being killed with a hot grenade in your hand increases proportionately to the number of teammates within its lethal radius.

-Your sniper will only attack targets anyone could take, and not the ones your team needs him to take.

-As soon as you have an opportunity to kill multiple exposed enemies, you will need to reload.

-If you must pick one direction to look in as you enter a room, the enemy will always be behind you.

-If you should find yourself behind several enemies and charge them with the bayonet, you will be shot by an unseen enemy a millisecond before stabbing your first target.

-Whenever you are the last man barely holding a cap point for your team you will be teamkilled by someone outside the cap zone.
 
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akacitizensnips

FNG / Fresh Meat
Jul 4, 2010
1
0
0
the attacking team just capped your position, you manage to 007 sneak to safety, armed with your semi-auto rifle, you manage to take down 7-8 enemies in a short amount of time as they run thru the cap zone, as a fresh mob of enemies approach you have a full clip and are ready to rock and roll......... BOOM, friendly arty :cool:
 

Wallz

FNG / Fresh Meat
Aug 14, 2011
3
0
0
The chance of that one of your teammate's will die while holding a live grenade increases proportionately with how close you are too them.
 

Gudenrath

FNG / Fresh Meat
Aug 23, 2011
2,135
313
0
-You are in the process of reloading when an enemy in front of you takes aim at you. Luckily a teammate turns around the corner behind him, and you think you are saved. But no, instead of shooting the enemy, your noob teammate decides he wants to stab him instead and takes his time creeping forward, thus allowing the enemy time enough to kill you. As you respawn you see a kill message about the wannabe stabber being stabbed by the enemy who just shot you.
 

YoDawg753

FNG / Fresh Meat
Feb 15, 2010
27
3
0
Whenever someone uses the PPSh for the first time, he probably dies before killing anyone but his teammates. (guilty as charged :rolleyes: ..5 months ago)

When you're playing Danzig with a new or horrible sniper, he'll probably stay at the spawn, kill 1-10 enemies and shout commands at you for the rest of the round.

You try to take out a StG guy standing near a window, you throw a nade and he survives, then your teammate throws a nade, which bounces off the frame, kills you, doesn't apologize and the StG guy kills everyone around.

You tell your sniper to kill an MG but he constantly dies and says "Take out that damn MG!"

Never let bots drive a tank.

When your tank commander sticks his head out the hatch 24/7, he'll get shot and you get killed by a hidden tank.

When you call for an PTRD, no one will answer.

The *beep* players will always get the best guns but all the good ones are riflemen.

Satchels are the TK tool #1

Never let someone stubborn who didn't play a CO map before drive the APC
(he just drove and drove and drove, disregarding all advice and orders, and then we finally reached a wonderful place, enemy territory including 2 tanks)
 

Jackal.

FNG / Fresh Meat
May 11, 2013
16
0
0
When you need smoke to corss a zone that is watched bi sniper on all sides no one will throw it. So you give up and try to go to another cap point, in that moment the bastard finally decides to listen at you and use smoke, when you make it to get there to cross the zone, the smoke will fade getting you killed.