Murphy's Laws of RO

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slavek

Grizzled Veteran
May 4, 2006
3,075
943
113
UnrealEd: Viewport #1



Quote:
"The path that leads to the capture of the sacred Petrol Yard will lead to a victorious German army on Krasnyi. He who goes down the path towards Central Yard is but a noob in the eyes of the Lord."

-[SiN]-bswearer
 

Fedorov

FNG / Fresh Meat
Dec 8, 2005
5,726
2,774
0



Quote:
"The path that leads to the capture of the sacred Petrol Yard will lead to a victorious German army on Krasnyi. He who goes down the path towards Central Yard is but a noob in the eyes of the Lord."

-[SiN]-bswearer

lol, nice one, but woulnd it look better if it was: Book o' St. Front?
 

Alec

FNG / Fresh Meat
Jun 4, 2006
67
0
0
If you pick up a weapon and shoot at enemy, the clip will be near empty and you die.
Every teammate that dies near you, has a live grenade in his hand.
 

eduzk

FNG / Fresh Meat
May 20, 2008
8
0
0
Finland
Oh these are so familiar to me. Yesterday I fired at a pair of Germans who were pretty close to me, very close each other, essentially forming a double-sized target - and hit neither of them.

If you pick up a weapon and shoot at enemy, the clip will be near empty and you die.
I have made it a rule that when I pick up someone's weapon, first thing to do is switch a fresh clip. It might just be that he died because he ran out of ammo...

Also, when planning to pick up a weapon, one should consider the fact that someone just got killed in that very spot. Usually when I finally manage to grab the right weapon and the right ammo, I die.
 

murderous_eagle

FNG / Fresh Meat
Nov 21, 2005
297
17
0
Suppose you have great cover behind sandbags. You're not likely to be hit by a crack sniper...

Unfortunately there's someone with an smg that normally can't hit the broad side of a barn from inside of it.

-------------------

When you use a semi-auto sniper rifle, Murphy laughs at you from the grave.

-------------------

You found a machine gun. Good for you!
The barrel's melted.
 
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Tanuki

FNG / Fresh Meat
Aug 1, 2007
122
0
0
40
United Kingdom
- The tanker who is calling you a noob for not blowing the barricade he is parked next to and refuses to back off so you can blow it. Will call you a noob again when blowing the barricade results in his death.

- When the ammo for the weapon you just picked up off the floor disappears before you can pick it up. The ammo for the weapon you just dropped will miraculously disappear too.

- A satchel placed directly on or under a tank will not kill it. But one dropped 10 meters away most definably will.

- After winning a bayo fight against 3 enemy the team mate who sat back and watched without helping will then team kill you.

- The more convinced you are that a nade went through the window you were aiming at. The more chance there is that it bounced back and landed at your feet. (or better yet is still actually in your hand and primmed)
 

husbert

FNG / Fresh Meat
Mar 1, 2008
1,208
286
0
Caap, ГEPMAHNR



Quote:
"The path that leads to the capture of the sacred Petrol Yard will lead to a victorious German army on Krasnyi. He who goes down the path towards Central Yard is but a noob in the eyes of the Lord."

-[SiN]-bswearer

thats the bundeswehr cross not the wehrmachts cross?!?! :confused: :p
 

Fedorov

FNG / Fresh Meat
Dec 8, 2005
5,726
2,774
0
in a CA map, when ROplayer gets in your tank, you know you just have lost the round
 

LawL LawL

FNG / Fresh Meat
Feb 5, 2009
3
0
0
Hi im new here, this thread gave me some good laughs

Hi im new here, this thread gave me some good laughs

Hi I'm new to the forums, anyways, great thread you got going here :p, and all of these statements are quite true. Well time for me to contribute, not sure if these have already been said but here goes

-You're defending a cap zone with an mg and just repulsed a quick assault, seeing as how no one is coming, you reload, and out of nowhere the noob afk around the corner steps in a riddles you with smg rounds.

-You're playing as russians on danzig, you're whole team sucks, and everytime you cross a bridge you get shot by a sniper in the far right building, 3 endings, #1 you miraculously race across the bridge without noticing the sniper had been gunned down via a whole teams worth of suppressing fire for 15 minutes. you make it to the base of the house and throw your grenades in, moments later you enter the second floor only to find a mangled corpse wich suddenly dissapears indicating you didnt score the kill. #2 you throw grenades to occupy the sniper and dash across the bridge, only to find the same grenades at the base of the curb which you just passed in order to approach the building entrace. #3 the noob occupying sniper decides to take a different class, however you didnt notice this for the past 10 minutes and when you finally grab the sniper, respawn, and line up your sights to blast that german sniper, the noob shoots you and takes the sniper from your body, with the excuse of "I want my gun back"

-On Odessa, you decide to snipe from the tower, and you're the first to take a position in the tower, little do you know you're whole team is all huddles up right behind you and as you notice all you're cap zones are taken, you unscope, turn around, and realize what has happend just as a grenade flies in and kills everyone, which then results in the capture of the tower and your teams defeat.

-On LyesKrovy, you grab an Smg, 2 endings, #1 your whole team is trigger happy, everytime you turn a corner they blast you with the entire 71 round clip before saying sorry, long after you'ver respawned. And in the end, you lose because you also found out your team's been roaming around in the trenches gunning you down while your enemies cap and win. #2 you're very cautious about firing, but everytime you turn a corner a german guns you down before you even identify him, then suddenly, you're detemined to kill the damned germans with your ppsh, and the next corner you turn, you fire your whole clip down, however what you hadnt expected was #1's endings noobs all crowded up in that trench passage for just about no reason.

- On any map where you're playing offense, at the end of the map, you do a voip message of "Ok guys, wait for the barrage to lift before you go for the cap" , but since theyre all noobs, they muted you before they even heard you say "guys" and they all run pointlessly in to get butchered by your arty, which results in your removal from the server. Upon your return you find a noob in your officer class slot, said noob refuses togive it back to you stating his great skill in RO while you press F1 to reveal his -21 score.

-On a tank map, seeing as how no one is using Combat Engineer, you take the class, grab the nearest vehicle faster than a tank, and head for the nearest enemy tank, 2 endings #1, upon reaching the tank, you plant the charge and run, but somehow at about 15 feet away the charge detonates and some stray shrapnel kills you. #2 the charge is planted and you dash to safety, little did you know the driver had seen you coming, anticipated your charges, and seeing as how he hadnt gotten confirmation of finished reloading from the main gunner, him and his gunner quietly slip away as you arrive at the tank only to blow and unmanned peice of machinery.

-On any infantry based map, while on the offensive, smoke is requested by all the veterans on your team, the noob bearing the smoke grenades doesnt respond thinking he doensnt have them, and instead you must play a whole map with a noob using smoke grenades as frags.

-On that map with the ridge (forgot the name) playing as russians, you grab a machine gun and mount up in the rear village, you suddenly see a mess of guys rushing down the hill, you gun them down without hesitation, as obviously men charging downhill en masse means their hostile, only to discover it was a bunch of noobs fleeing in terror from an APC that didnt even have a machine gunner.

-On any tank map, you take driver and after calling for support for 10 minutes, a guy jumps in, little do you know that he had set his game settings to "Manual Reload" for the main gun, and during your tank engagement, he fires his ordnance at an enemy vehicle, the shot ricochets off and lands harmlessly into the grass nearby. They return fire and reduce you a smoking monstrosity barely capable of functioning, 15 seconds later, they open up again and blow you to peices, when you ask your gunner why he hadnt fired, he says the gun stopped working.

Alot of these may seem absolutely rediculous, but they've all happened to me, and the ones that sound somewhat rediculous on my part like the MG cutting down allies happened when I first started playing. But now that I look back, I realise how much more rediculous the actions of the other players were. :p
 
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BlackLabel

FNG / Fresh Meat
Jan 9, 2007
3,137
1,063
0
Churmany
If you engage a T-34 in close combat with a panzer 3 your shell will likely bounce off the enemy tank and kill you.
 

[TW]Wilsonam

VP, Tripwire Int.
Oct 17, 2005
4,061
2,618
113
62
Roswell, GA
www.tripwireinteractive.com
After making a long end-run on Krivoy in your SU-76, succesfully flanking the Tiger that has been hunkered down on the West Field, you pull round behind him at about 200 metres, put the first round into him - then some clown on your own team starts whooping about his 800-metre first-round kill. Which is you. "Oh, ****, sorry..."
 

BlackLabel

FNG / Fresh Meat
Jan 9, 2007
3,137
1,063
0
Churmany
You walk ALL the way from ogladow spawn, pick up all 3 fausts in the village and carefully make your way to a good postition near the farm with your ptrd. Needless to say...even before you fire the first shot..you get tked by some blind tanker.
 

Schnurx

FNG / Fresh Meat
May 18, 2007
68
12
0
Hamburg, Germany
Well, all good ones and all just too true.

-Satchels are magnetic. Immediately after you throw a satchel to destroy an obstacle all friendlies within 50 meters will swarm to it. In fact, non-explosive satchels would be a good method for SLs to gather forces.
-The satchel dropped by a killed enemy sapper wasn't. It was thrown by the other one, resulting in a loud boom and a tragic separation of bodyparts.
-Every time you find a good hiding place your whole team will immediately cluster around you, making you an obvious target for a nice HE or Nade.
-Everytime it's urgent, you will forget to drop your weapon beforehand. So trying to pick up a better weapon and it's ammunition will result in frantic picking and dropping and dancing and swearing, as you pick and drop and drop and pick but never seem to be able to pick up what you're looking at. This is basically the same, as the one above. Only bots aren't as completely idiotic.

The "main murphy" of all time however (and the reason I stopped playing tank on public) for me is: You take a single tank and drive it into a nice position, well hidden and at a good angle. After you take down one or two enemy tanks, an idiot will jump in and drive around without any idea that maybe that tank was not only just standing around, waiting just for him, the idiot, to drive around randomly.
The second murphy happens on all tank maps with bots. The millisecond you press the fire button, a Bot jumps in and drives, crucially distorting your aim, resulting in you being killed by the enemy.
 
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Klaus

FNG / Fresh Meat
Feb 22, 2006
806
188
0
96
Israel, Tel-Aviv
- On a pub, no one speaks english
- ~~~~~~ people grab the best weapons
- Old but the closer you are to get an achievement the greatest the chance of getting tk'ed. Even if there are absolutly no friendlies in the far sight.
 

assimilateur

FNG / Fresh Meat
Sep 21, 2009
25
0
0
he says the gun stopped working.

Manual tank reload works similarly to how bolt-action rifles do, namely you can reload by pressing fire once more after shooting. Surely even a noob wouldn't say that the gun stopped working after left-clicking once without shooting?
 

Mikeedude

FNG / Fresh Meat
Apr 7, 2009
409
5
0
Penzance, cornwall
You will always die just before the enemy cap,making sure you have to spawn miles away!
The SL always smokes the objective you're not attacking!
Having shot 10 enemies from long range, the one that comes into the room you're in, armed with a pistol cannot be shot from pointblank with 10 rounds.
 

Fuhrer Cool

FNG / Fresh Meat
Jan 18, 2008
184
21
0
USA
The likelihood of you hitting the "Windows" button and therefor minimizing RO and opening the start menu leaving yourself essentially afk in game will increase in proportion to how badly you need to dive/go prone.