You know I have found a decent number of realism servers for me with ping under 100, even a few with 64 players which I like. The only thing the game lacks IMO is a historic realism mode. I think this is the main problem most complainers have, realism mode is simply not that realistic, or at least historically realistic. A mode that got rid of unlocks, prototypes and reduced Automatics and semi's would probably fix most problems.
I agree that it does need some balancing. To be honest, I find the Countdown mode to be a little too slow where I find Territory mode to be a little too fast and a little too spammy. Something in the middle would nice, then again there is another mode coming out so it would solve most of the problems. I'm sure that TWI are listening to people's complaints about weapon balancing and so forth.
I'm really happy with this game. It blew me out of the water on a number of occasions. One thing I really like is just how realistic it LOOKS. The way people move and interact with each other/the environment tops pretty much any other shooter out there and manages to do so while being immersive and gritty, not clunky and detached like Arma2.
It's easier to get killed in RO2 than it is in RO1 as well, I find. There is just so much more going on and the graphics engine makes you put more time into scanning and picking your targets than in the original. Add to the fact that you're able to move more freely and bullets are more lethal. Last night I saw ten Germans get cut down my an MG and the ones that didn't drop were just staggering around for a few seconds before they died. In RO1, the casualties would have been fewer and the wounded soldiers probably wouldn't have had to do anything. RO2 feels more deadly and in that sense, more realistic.
There are tonnes of other things to that add to this, like the cover system.
I think people expected perfection way too early on. I knew that the first release was going to be a bit bumpy. I expect it with a lot of titles these days. It took Arma2 the better part of a year before I could would call it playable and I bought that game on day one as well. This won't take nearly that long but I did eventually get my money out of Arma2 and I'm getting my money's worth out of this title now and the first week hasn't even past yet so I really wish people would just calm down.