• Please make sure you are familiar with the forum rules. You can find them here: https://forums.tripwireinteractive.com/index.php?threads/forum-rules.2334636/

How do I relationships?

Jump to latest Follow Reply
Sort by date Sort by votes
#21
C_Gibby said:
If anyone wonders why I'm posting in here of all places, it's because here a good amount of people know what I'm like, and my other choices of places to talk about this in the company of those who are familiar with me have the subject of this post lurking around. Plus, posting on a forum generally gets lots of answers.

So a while ago in the anything thread, I mentioned that I was crushing on a close friend of mine and comtemplating asking them out.

And a few days ago, like a boss, I did, and it worked. :IS2:

Though this person is a girl. :eek: This is very new territory to me. Not only is she a she, but she is older than me. I'm still 17 (though not for too much longer), and she turns 20 in April. Eek.

So yeah, we've been friends for almost a year. We'd talk about everything, we'd confide in each other, we'd listen to one another, we'd have fun, and we also happen to share arseloads of common ground. She's told me things like how I mean a lot to her, how I'm different to almost all of the people she knows, I understand her, how I am actually interested in what she does, and all sorts of other lovely things.

And I think that I really like her. :eek: Thanks to the amount of time I've known her, I'm quite certain that I have no SHOCKING HORRIBLE THINGS to uncover that would scare me away or anything. I'm always looking forward every day to be able to go ahead and talk to her, and I get so arse-clenchingly tense and all fluffy inside when I am waiting to do so. I'm very certain that my feelings are genuine.

Again, this is strange ground for me, as I am more used to other dudes and not icky girls, who I stay away from because of their cooties an' ****. One thing that gets me is this wierd feeling of insecurity, like something bad is gonna happen (I dun wanna lose her) and I can't imagine why I'd be so scared like that, I can't even see a threat!
Supposedly this feeling is normal. I imagine she'd be feeling the same way as she has not had a boyfriend for like 4 years. For a starter, I want these unjustified bad feelings to be gone with and destroyed, and, well, I want to try and make this last. Because yeah.

So do tell me, my team of unlikely heroes, what the bloody hell do I do? How do I make this thing last?
Click to expand...


Tips:

Be a man.
Dont be a jerk.
Dont complain. (a little is ok, but no girl wants to listen to a man ***** and whine about things)
Be confident.
Be positive and optimistic.
Dont be clingy.
Dont feel threatened or jelous by her guy friends.
Be nice and friendly to her girl friends (this is a big one, because her friends WILL judge you and give their opinions about you to her. If her friends like you, youre set. if they dont, youre f*cked)
Randomly surprise her with cute things (it doesnt have to be fancy things, but simple "hope you have a good day" or "look forward to seeing you this weeked" note taped to her car, stuffed inside her purse, etc.
Take interest in her hobbies.
Support her in ANY decision she makes.
Groom yourself. Cut your fingernails. Smell nice. Wear clean clothes. Brush your teeth. Manscape. Dont be a slob.
Eat healthy: lay off the hot pockets, bagel bites and mountain dew.
Go on dates, museums, zoo's, amusement parks, always have something planned so the both of you can look forward to it and your time together...but dont overdo it...girls enjoy snuggling up on the couch and watching a movie from time to time (honestly I dont think ive ever watched a full movie with a girl on a couch... it always leads to other things haha)
When she asks what did you do today? Dont reply "Nothing much, just played video games and sat on the computer all day" Tell her something thats productive you did today...it makes for good conversation.
Be open with eachother.
Be yourself.
Wear condoms.
Wear condoms.
Always make sure she orgasims first. (unless she wants it differently)

check out this website its got good articles: http://www.askmen.com/
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
#22
THunter said:
Tips:

Be a man.
Dont be a jerk.
Dont complain. (a little is ok, but no girl wants to listen to a man ***** and whine about things)
Be confident.
Be positive and optimistic.
Dont be clingy.
Dont feel threatened or jelous by her guy friends.
Be nice and friendly to her girl friends (this is a big one, because her friends WILL judge you and give their opinions about you to her. If her friends like you, youre set. if they dont, youre f*cked)
Randomly surprise her with cute things (it doesnt have to be fancy things, but simple "hope you have a good day" or "look forward to seeing you this weeked" note taped to her car, stuffed inside her purse, etc.
Take interest in her hobbies.
Support her in ANY decision she makes.
Groom yourself. Cut your fingernails. Smell nice. Wear clean clothes. Brush your teeth. Manscape. Dont be a slob.
Eat healthy: lay off the hot pockets, bagel bites and mountain dew.
Go on dates, museums, zoo's, amusement parks, always have something planned so the both of you can look forward to it and your time together...but dont overdo it...girls enjoy snuggling up on the couch and watching a movie from time to time (honestly I dont think ive ever watched a full movie with a girl on a couch... it always leads to other things haha)
When she asks what did you do today? Dont reply "Nothing much, just played video games and sat on the computer all day" Tell her something thats productive you did today...it makes for good conversation.
Be open with eachother.
Be yourself.
Wear condoms.
Wear condoms.
Always make sure she orgasims first (the more the better)
Click to expand...
Most of this just made me cringe.

So this list is the definition of "being a man"? I'll dissect it a bit.

"Be confident.
Be positive and optimistic."

Even if you are not confident about something, you should fake it, instead of lets say asking for help? Even if something is wrong, you should hide your emotions and put up a positive and optimistic facade?

"Be nice and friendly to her girl friends (this is a big one, because her friends WILL judge you and give their opinions about you to her. If her friends like you, youre set. if they dont, youre f*cked)"

There's a lot more to this and it's not that clear cut. Making an effort to get along with her friends is of course the right thing to do. But if some of them are just not people you can get along with, then why force it?

And if those "friends" then try to force your girlfriend to break up with you, solely because they don't like you, and your girlfriend doesn't have a strong enough character to make up her own mind, or to tell them to mind their own business, then I'd say you're better off without her.

"Support her in ANY decision she makes."

This is just silly. There's absolutely no reason to support all of her decisions. Agreeing with absolutely everything your girlfriend does simply because you're afraid to disagree is not the right way to go.

If the girl can't handle the fact that you have your own opinions and thoughts and feels that you always have to do as she says, then you're better off without her.

"When she asks what did you do today? Dont reply "Nothing much, just played video games and sat on the computer all day" Tell her something thats productive you did today...it makes for good conversation."

Even if you didn't do anything special? Maybe it was a slow day at work/school and the highlight of your day was a game you played? You should just bottle up that need to share your feelings and make up some story about how you did something productive?

Earlier in your list you said that you have to take interest in her hobbies, and I agree. But that's a two way street. She also has to take interest in your hobbies. And if one of those hobbies happens to be playing video games, then you shouldn't feel ashamed to talk about it.

"Be open with eachother.
Be yourself."

This contradicts a lot of the other things you listed. Well, unless you are exactly the kind of person described by the "be a man" list you made.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
#23
That isnt the definition of being a man. Those are tips how NOT to f*ck up a relationship and not to be mistaken for rules. I agree with most of the things you have said...however I left out details because I didnt want my post to be a page long.

Last I checked this was a "How not to f*ck things up" thread about C_Gibby and not a thread about how to know if his girlfriend is a b*tch and if their relationship is going to last or not. You can always be yourself, but some things really help bring out your best personal traits...thats not contradicting anything.

I appreciate your trolling efforts though. Seems like you have something to prove on this forum lately.


I dont know why you think I implied you should hide your feelings, lie about things, make things up and be too afraid about stating your opinion. No part of my post mentioned any of that.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
#24
THunter said:
I appreciate your trolling efforts though. Seems like you have something to prove on this forum lately.
Click to expand...
Um... I was being completely serious.

And what do trolling (which I'm not) and having something to prove have to do with each other? Unless my goal was to prove that I'm good at trolling (which I'm not), it just doesn't make sense.
 
Upvote 0
#27
Also, can't believe nobody has asked already...

... post some nudes of her.

... for science.

7CwvX.png
 
Upvote 0
#29
Gibby, you are asking for the secret of the universe here but so far you have been given some pretty sage advice.
Also, being how you have known this girl for so long, you should pretty much know her likes and dislikes, if not, then that is your first big mistake, ALWAYS listen and take note as women have a tendency to give you subtle spot tests, without you even knowing about it.

here is my list to a fruitful relationship, even though for everything I say, I will contradict with another statement, (lol anyone who has been in a long term relationship will understand)

  • Be confident in all you do, women love confident men but don't be afraid to ask your partners opinion, she will then feel involved and show that you respect her opinion.

  • Don't put her on a pedestal but at least make her feel important, without being worshipped. Women like to be treated like princesses now and again but also like to be considered equal.

  • Don't become complacent and let yourself go. Make an effort for her.

  • Watch 'Some kind of Wonderful' lol this film will hit home to you more than you realise. Score extra points by watching it with her, it will show you have a sensitive side.

  • Listen to her! even if sometimes she is just venting or not making any sense, listen to everything she says, as this will help you find what makes her tick.

  • When you need to be critical, be subtle but to the point. i.e If she asks what you thing about her new lipstick, (and you don't think it suits her) don't say something stupid like, yeh my mum wears that, or it makes her look pale. Tell her that you prefer a different colour as it takes focus away from her eyes.

  • Don't be a slob around the house but also don't be too tidy, most women like to care for their partners and like to make the men feel that they need them, hmm not making much sense on this one.

  • when you have mates round, try and keep the discussions on a topic that your partner can join in on. Save the football, or computer talk for when you are alone with your friends.

  • Don't try and act older than you are, women love a young heart, just don't be immature.

lol this could go on but the true secret to keeping a woman happy?.........

Spoiler!
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
#30
Man, it's not as hard as some here want to make you think it is.

Just relax, and be yourself. Do what you feel and think to be right. Just don't be an *** and hurt her.

If that isn't enough for her, then she's not the right person for you. Once I had to struggle through a relationship where I had to keep up a constant act to "please" my girlfriend, and it didn't end well. Or rather it actually did end well, because when the day came that I had feared the most - the breakup - I didn't feel sad at all. The moment she broke up with me (because i decided to leave a dead end job to pursue another plan of mine, which involved moving about an hours drive away) I suddenly felt great. I hadn't even realized before how exhausting and frustrating it was to keep up this act.
 
Upvote 0
#31
[-project.rattus-] said:
Man, it's not as hard as some here want to make you think it is.

Just relax, and be yourself. Do what you feel and think to be right. Just don't be an *** and hurt her.

If that isn't enough for her, then she's not the right person for you. Once I had to struggle through a relationship where I had to keep up a constant act to "please" my girlfriend,
Click to expand...

I quite agree and in an ideal world, that would work fine in all cases but in reality, it doesn't.
Some women will try and change you, hence why most of the prettiest girls, end up with a 'bad boy'. It's because they believe that they are going to be 'the one' to change them. This always ends badly and usually future relationships suffer because of it.

What I have listed, isn't trying to make things sounds difficult, all I have done is list out basic consideration techniques which anyone, male or female should respect if they do love their partner.

Anything in life takes work for it to succeed and that goes for relationships, as if you go in to a partnership with someone and expect them to take you exactly as you are and you are not willing to compromise, then that is a selfish move in my opinion and the relationship is doomed to fail.

But on the other hand, you should never lose sight of who you are and give up your own individuality, as this will indirectly doom the relationship too.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
#38
braindead said:
I quite agree and in an ideal world, that would work fine in all cases but in reality, it doesn't.
Click to expand...

I live together with my girlfirend for four years now (and been together with her for five), and we're having a jolly good time just beeing ourselves and appreciating the other without trying or even wanting to change oneanother. Of course, sometimes, compromises have to be made, but that never made the relationship "lopsided", or left one with the feeling of owing to the other.

Guess I am lucky.
 
Upvote 0
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back
Jump to latest Follow Reply
Jump to latest Follow Reply
Community News
Forums
Merch
Menu