Maybe I'm a sick romantic, but not hurting someone's dick isn't really a sign of "genuine love and affection" to me.
Aside from minor misunderstandings and harmless accidents due to inexperience I've never been with someone who hurt me either. Nothing a "heyyy, careful with those" or a "mind the teeth" can't clear right up. Couple of seconds and a chuckle later it's all forgotten. I appreciate that it must have seemed sexy in her head, you know.
And I used to be the same well-meaning awkward dope with nothing but good intentions. Who am I kidding, still am... Not gonna pretend I'm Don Juan's fat brother Fatso Disgustez
here. But that's the key. The good intentions. It's really hard to physically hurt a person if you don't mean to.
Which leads me to an uncomfortable question that I'm just going to ask anyway: You're gay, right, shouldn't this reduce the potential for well-meaning but potentially hurtful ideas quite a bit? I hate to sound clich