[Video] Chuck Norris Megathread

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-=KnIfE=-

FNG / Fresh Meat
Nov 21, 2005
433
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34
Dunstable, UK
www.silveredge.4thewww.com
I'm sure many of you have put "French Military Victories" into google and pressed "I'm feeling lucky" which has the hilarious result of displaying "Did you mean French military defeats?"

Well, someone at work just showed me a new one.

Type (in quotation marks) "Find Chuck Norris" into google and hit I'm feeling lucky....

Fair play google, fair play!
 

Aeneas2020

FNG / Fresh Meat
Aug 23, 2006
1,016
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i can't decide whether that sent my respect for chuck norris down or my respect for huckabee up...either way he wont be getting my vote.
 

Floyd

Grizzled Veteran
Feb 19, 2006
4,313
725
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Waterproof
www.ro50pc.net
Interesting rhetoric coming from (presumably) non-US citizens....:p
Careful how you toss around the term "red-neck". One might find you and want to make you squeal like a pig. :eek::D
Personally, I wish someone would put the IRS out of business. :mad: Then perhaps I wouldn't have to write them $45k+ checks each year. Income tax = Productivity Tax plain and simple.

I read this the other day. My daughter is going to a liberal liberal arts college in Ark. and I got a kick out of it. (Self-employed as I am.)

A Father/Daughter Talk

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and union supporter, and was very much in favor of "the redistribution of wealth."

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"

She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2 .0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."

Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the Republican party"
 

Shadrach

Grizzled Veteran
May 2, 2006
2,688
400
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Elitist Prick Ski Lodge
stian.freeshell.org
IMO, any ideas about abolishing taxes are totally utopian.

If noone pays taxes, who will build your roads, pick up your garbage, clean your city streets, put out fires, police your neighborhood and various other public services? You would have to pay for all of these separately then?

And maybe more important to some - who would pay for the continued various little wars you have going all the time, do you think support of the armed forces should be on a *donation-only* basis? (actually a pretty good idea, no?) Thats your tax-dollars at work right there :)
 

Floyd

Grizzled Veteran
Feb 19, 2006
4,313
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Waterproof
www.ro50pc.net
The idea is not to eliminate taxes but to eliminate the IRS (the agency that audits and collects personal/business income taxes). Under the current system (I'm presenting this in a very over-simplified example, mind you), the poor think the rich get too many "right offs", the rich think the less rich don't pay their fair share (taxed 10% vs. 35% margins). No one is really happy. (Except of course the idiot that thinks because he gets a "refund" check he's getting something for nothing. The fool could just send me his overpayment and I'll use it for the year and mail the principle back to him annually... The man that came up with the concept of Federal Withholding of taxes from payroll checks should get a Nobel prize for genious.)

I'm not up on Huckabee's plans per se, but I'm pretty sure it involves the use of sales or use taxes as opposed to personal/business income taxes.
 
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SheepDip

FNG / Fresh Meat
Nov 21, 2005
3,626
495
0
39
The Elitist Prick Club
A Father/Daughter Talk

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and union supporter, and was very much in favor of "the redistribution of wealth."

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"

She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2 .0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."

Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the Republican party"
Surely the correct analogy is one where the daughter is getting a free-ride through college in a "jobs for the boys" type scenario because her dad is connected. Then when the girl who isn't doing too well (for whatever reason) suggests the grades be split between them the daughter says "That wouldn't be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work!"?
 

fiftyone

FNG / Fresh Meat
May 6, 2006
5,451
284
0
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

lol...
Nice.

EDIT...


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.


Never mind...

I'm loving this...

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

 
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