Another girlfriend thread.... (yup 0_o)

[-=KnIfE=-]

I'm seriously thinking we should add a "relationships" section to the forums ^_^

Ok, so here's my dilema (cutting it VERY short):

My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years goes off to uni and decides she wants to go on a break with me. She tells me she's been persuaded to do so by this extremely nice gentleman (he's a c*nt). About a week later I was shown some pictures of them drunk and getting off (making out for you yanks ) together at a party, and I, in a drunken, quite hurt state, dumped her. I immediately rang back to try and take it back but she wasn't having any of it.

Now, We'd been together for absoutely ****ing ages and I had (read have) some very strong feelings for her. At this point I was saving up to get us a place to move in together which she had wanted for about 6 months.

So anyway, I mope about and be all sad and sorry for myself for about 2-3 weeks until I end up getting dragged out at the weekends with some friends. I happen to bump into someone I used to live next door to about 10 years ago, and I haven't seen her since I moved. She'd just broken up with her boyfriend of 4 years, and we hit it off really well and I ended up at her flat that night. We decided to give it a go together.

However, the next day my ex rings me back up and says that she wants me to take her back.

Now... I really want this, but at the same time I've just started something with someone who's quite vulnerable and now I'm pretty sure it's a rebound thing. I don't want to hurt her 'cause she's a really nice girl, but I do want to be with my ex.

What the **** do I do?! D:

 

[LogisticEarth]

Your ex went off to college, started getting drunk with other guys and cheating on you. This is a clear-cut case where you should dump her. How old are you, if she's just going off to university, I'm assuming you're around 18-20? It's not worth sticking around with some girl who's going to do that to you, even if you have been together for 2 1/2 years.

If you like this other girl, I'd go for it. The other one clearly isn't devoted to you and is easily persuaded by douchebags, meaning it's likely to happen again in the future. Hopefully she'll learn from this experience that the good guys aren't going to wait around for her while she abuses thier trust.

People change when they get into college, it's a death sentence for most relationships, especially if distance is involved.

EDIT: The new girl may be vunerable, but if you like her, you can still go for it, just be a gentleman about it. As long as you're not just using her. Rebounds can turn into good relationships too.

 

[D.a.L-UnteroffizierG]

What the **** do I do?! D:

thats simple. take both and dont tell them. life can be great you see?

 

[[-project.rattus-]]

I second UffzG's proposal.

If that's not an option, dump your ex. Sounds harsh, but if she did it once, she'll do it again.

EDIT: ON a sidenote, I would rather not have a public forum decide these important parts of my life

 

[Monkwarrior]

I tell this from experience.
Your ex will dump you again in future.
She did it once and will do it again (until she learns her lesson which might be a totally different lesson then yours).

If you value yourself (and I know you do) spare yourself the pain and find yourself a girl which really chooses you for the loving being that you are.

Choose for yourself, it's a very simple choice.

Monk.

 

[-=KnIfE=-]

I second UffzG's proposal.

If that's not an option, dump your ex. Sounds harsh, but if she did it once, she'll do it again.

EDIT: ON a sidenote, I would rather not have a public forum decide these important parts of my life

Lol Rattus, I'm not gonna let it decide, I'm just gathering opinions as I'm rather confused and really kinda wanna sort it out ASAP.

 

[D.a.L-UnteroffizierG]

hey maybe there is a better idea: lay you ex and "take her back" and the next day you show up with the other girl and dump your ex. blood in blood out

but you should not post such private things here^^

 

[spraduke]

Agree, anyone who claims to have feelings for you will not betray you. If they do i wouldn't want to be associated with them in any way at all. I can understand your regret at dumping your gf (i did that myself before leaving for uni but 4 hours later changed my mind . Luckily she took me back).

This new lass sounds like you get on so why not try that for a while. Nothing happens then you can find another gf. Its easy to look at the past with rose tinted glasses so dont rely to heavily on how "it used to be".

 

[BuddyLee]

German pragmatism is still top shelf i see.

I agree, go out with both. Let Hotlips McHerpes think everything is A-OK, then when she is least expecting it leave a home-made pr0n in her VCR that you and the new girl made. Then tell her where to return the tape... the 24/7 dropslot that the local Alpha-Beta Frat house have made out of her arse.

If I only had a time machine...

 

[D.a.L-UnteroffizierG]

German pragmatism is still top shelf i see.

I agree, go out with both. Let Hotlips McHerpes think everything is A-OK, then when she is least expecting it leave a home-made pr0n in her VCR that you and the new girl made. Then tell her where to return the tape... the 24/7 dropslot that the local Alpha-Beta Frat house have made out of her arse.

If I only had a time machine...

jep. be vile to those who are vile to you^^. nah dont listen to us. just do what you think is right

 

[-=KnIfE=-]

lol, She only kissed the guy, she didn't shag him.

I'm not a vindictive sort of person and I certainly wouldn't have them both on the go at the same time. I'm not sure what the new girl is like but the old one was definately enough on her own ^_^

 

[Aeneas2020]

knife mate i know u a little but not that well. Let me give you some advise, and hell i may be wrong but this is from my own experience.

I had a similar situation where i forgave a girl i'd been with for some time. It was a slippery slope. "breaks" are never a good idea and they are usually just an excuse to have some fun on the side. I know this **** hurts mate but its better to move on in my opinion. She's away at college she's already taken the first step in cheating by making out with that guy, he's clearly pushing her and already has some sway over her since he convinced her to go on a break in the first place. If you take her back now it will give her free license to feel less guilty about more serious cheating in the future.

She clearly doesn't see your rship in the same light as you do.

Plus add the fact that you had to find out about it from a photo, its not like she called you and said "hey i did something stupid". So buddy i know this reply seems a little one sided, maybe even agressive but having gone through almost the exact same thing sometimes its just better to walk away.

give this new girl a shot mate, if your both interested in other people it seems like its time.

 

[LogisticEarth]

lol, She only kissed the guy, she didn't shag him.

Didn't shag him YET. She's been talking about taking a break, you catch her making out with some guy, said guy has been pressuring her...

If she was worth your time, she'd be telling the guy to take a hike instead of partying with him. Like Aeneas said, it's a slippery slope. If it's not this jerk, it'll be another.

Maybe you'll hurt her when you dump her, but then maybe she'll learn a lesson that there are consequences for betraying someone.

 

[Ralfst3r]

Keep your damn selfrespect dude. If you really like this new girl, try to build up something with her.

 

[Werner]

Dump the ex, try to get on with the new one. Otherwise you'll be cheated on agaaaaaain.

 

[BlackLabel]

Dumb the old one, in with the new... you dont want to regret anything until you reach 30

 

[fiftyone]

Relationships are about trust, if you make up with your (ex) do you really think that you will have 100%(ok 90%) confidence, uncertainty is hard to live with, take this into consideration.

As for the new girl, are ties really cut the after 4 years with the other bloke?

Bit of a Catch 22 situation here, someone somewhere is gonna hurt, yourself included...

Not a very optimistic reply, but hey, loads of fish in the sea, sling yer net a little farther ! .

EDIT:
Call it the Dear Marge Thread...

 

[sharpshooterklj]

I personally am very sensitive when it comes to cheating, so what your ex did was totally cruel. Who knows if she only made out with the guy, one thing can lead to another quite easily when people are drunk. Cheating is cheating either way, I know "people make mistakes" but that's one huge mistake.

Even if you do patch things up with your ex, there's a good chance that past events will resurface and lead to more heartbreak.

I say lose the ex, especially since you got another girl lined up already.

 

[SchutzeSepp]

hmm, but we also need to know wich one is the prettyest and wich one has the richest parents?




be carefull with people who just broke up from a big relationship, they might do what they do because they wanna hurt their ex unconsiously

 

[Floyd]

How is what she did cheating.

She said she wanted a break.

Personally, I find limiting one's self to a high school sweetheart when going off to university pretty silly. Sounds to me like your not even 21 yet. Are you certain you've met the love of your life? If so, then get back together with her and marry her. If she's not the love of your life, whats the big deal? And if a kiss and/or a night out on the town (at your ages) causes such a big stir, I'm pretty sure she's not the "one for all times".

Think of all the experiences you (as an idividual) have left to live. I'm not telling you to be selfish, but realistic. Spread your wings. Both of you. If its meant to be, you'll come back to each other and better off for the experiences.

Floyd