Well the reason for relaxed realism is to attract and keep new players playing. The hope then is that these new players will get into the "hardcore" realism style servers.
I see your point about dealing with a majority of relaxed realism servers but what's better: empty realism servers or full relaxed realism servers? You have to keep in mind it's not necessarily true that players who play relaxed realism would stick around when forced into hardcore realism.
Considering that the difference between relaxed and true, will be cosmetic, with newbie helping and some indicators, I don't think they will miss that much once they get into the game.
My bet is that the most popular server setting would be full realism with death messages turned on.
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