you said she teleports around, she doesnt
Yes, you're right, 3D models that look like the fictional character called "The trader" don't really teleport, nor do they actually have anything to do with the shop mechanic. You can have no trader models in a map and the shops will still work fine. The voices-chat from the trader isn't really the trader, it's just things that a voice-actor recorded and is being played back in the game.
Ok, and the specimens aren't really lab experiments, they're 3D models with skins designed by people at Tripwire interactive. They aren't being cloned in a lab, they're just spawned out of nothingness in 3D volumes designated for the purpose by the map designers.
You don't start the level by being dropped off from a helicopter, you are actually just spawned where the map designer says to spawn players, and then a skinned 3D model that looks like a helicopter flies off and is de-spawned after reaching a certain distance out of sight according to a script written by people at Tripwire Interactive.
The weapons aren't really weapons, they're models with skins designed by people at Tripwire Interactive with associated scripted behavior.
You're not playing a human, you're playing a collection of information associated with a 3D model and skins designed by people at Tripwire Interactive.
All the maps aren't real places, they're just 3D spaces designed by people at Tripwire Interactive that are inhabited by other 3D models moving around in a way defined by the game code and player interaction.
Do you see how silly you're being yet, or shall I continue?