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What have they done to Spiderman?!?! (SPOILERS!)

Aeneas2020

Grizzled Veteran
Aug 23, 2006
1,016
1
OMG spiderman 3 is terrible, i have no idea what they were thinking, maybe raimi wanted to make sure no one else could ressurect this franchise so he made a movie that killed off the best super hero triology ever...To summarise, this is full of plot gaps, some awful acting and oh yes a 30 min dance, crotch thrust fest.

SPOILER ALERT:
issues i have with the movie:
1) Plot twists...why introduce flint marko (aka sandman) at all? They already have harry osborne and venom to look foward to. and the whole "OMFG sandman really killed your father" is so shoe horned in it is embarassingly bad.

2) Harry Osbornes amnesia: is so convinient as makes an early fight scene give the film some pace and then removes him as a baddy until the last half an hour so they can concentrate on the other two baddies (again 3 baddies is too many!)

3)Spiderman is an ***: bad spiderman isn't bad at all he is just John Travolta...yes you heard me right when spidery becomes evil he gets an emo hair cut (ok not travolta) but then has a 5 min sequence of him strutting down the street at crotch height ala Saturday Night Fever.

4) Following on from 3...wtf is up with the dance sequence? Ok parker goes into a jazz bar and tries to get back at MJ for breaking up with him by a slinky jazz dance like something out of chicago...he starts off playing the piano before yelling "DOUBLE TIME". tap dancing across the bar landing on the floor, clicking his fingers and thrusting his way towards gwen stacy...i felt sick.

5) The fact they have marko and brock (venom) in there means there is no time to explore the characters. Venom is just basically black spiderman with teeth which is a shame as his character in the comics is a fantastic melodramtic, depressed anti hero who uses the royal we...None of that here, venom appears at in the last 45-30 mins and effectively just get his *** kicked.

6) Lastly...the butler did it. Yes you head me right. Old Bernard the Osbornes butler is responsible for the whole Harry and Pete thing. He admits in the last few mins of the film to harry that he knows that Norman Osborne (Green Goblin) killed himself and that spidey is realyl a good guy. WHY THE HELL DIDN'T HE SAY THAT TWO MOVIES AGO WHEN HE GOT THE F****ING CHANCE?!!?

i could go on but safe to say i have never been so upset by a film, i have no idea how whoever wrote this mess is able to get work. Yeh the fight scenes are awesome but without any of the emotion, substance or even sense of spidey 1 & 2 there is no point.
 
Easily the worst of the three. Overly long, yet they managed to elude any sort of character development whatsoever. Characters in a nutshell: Sandman's the typical convict with the heart of gold, Venom got cock-blocked by Peter, and Harry's just as frustratingly wrapped up with daddy issues as he was in parts 1 and 2.

What I love is how both Sandman and Venom instantly know how to use their powers. One thing I loved about Spiderman 1 is how Peter had to train himself to use his powers over time. But here it's ridiculous. It takes 1 minute for Sandman to learn to control his new form perfectly, and Eddie Brock goes from being "Eric Forman with an attitude" to a web-slinging head-biting ninja-on-four-colors-of-crack in all of another minute.

On the other hand, emo Peter was funny as hell. I think Tobey must have told Raimi "Listen, chump, I'm tired of playing Mr. Goody-two-shoes. Give Peter some freakin' balls, at least for 5 minutes!" That was great, watching him go from clean-cut, to a little swing in his step, to totally overdoing it to the point of being repulsive.

However, the best part of the Spiderman movies, as always, is Bruce Campbell. Even before he was actually on screen, when you just see his hand and finger motioning to Peter to come closer, I knew it was him. He totally steals the scene.

Snooty fight announcer....snooty usher....now snooty French maitre'd. Atomic awesomeness. :)

When the frak is My Name is Bruce coming out?
 
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I'll wager the new Batman films will if the Baleinator and Chris Nolan stay at it :)
From the Batman Begins Trailer I thought that movie was gonna svck big time. The Batmobile jumping across rooftops looked hella lame. I waited until it was on HBO to watch it. Much to my surprise Batman Begins was kickass.

I was still bummed out that the first episode was not Bruce Wayne Vigilante with a club, Charlie Bronson style like the comic. With Catwoman as a hooker back from the dead... Oh well.
 
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