I've seen the British sayings present in KF misconstrude one too many times now, here is a list of what the less conspicuous ones mean.
Get up them apples: Cockney rhyming slang, 'apples and pears'=stairs, Similarly 'Ruby Murray'=curry and 'dog and bone'=phone
It's like Croydon on a friday night: Croydon is a town south of London, it is also a scum ridden peice of ****e. I only ever go there for the Ikea branch.
Knob off you tosspot: A tosspot is a variation of the word tosser, which in turn is a synonym for the word w@nker.
Come on, you want some you ponces?: A ponce is a man who is exceedingly effeminate, the word can be interchangeable with 'camp', in the context of "That guy's a bit camp."
Jesus I'm bleeding like a stuck pig: People used to speed up the death of a wild pig by stabbing it with as many spears as possible, the process eventually became known as 'pig sticking' and the pig in question was a 'stuck pig'.
Gimme a plaster: A plaster is the British term for band-aid.
Hey, Gov'na I'm up to my bloody neck in it here: Cockneys (people from London) sometimes refer to each other as gov'na (the full word being govenor), also sometimes shortened to 'gov'.
Can I scrounge some cash?: Scrounging is constantly asking your peers for things, usually money or food (in the context of a crisp(chip), not a whole meal).
Look out you plonker: A plonker is another word for idiot.
Wake up you pillock: A pillock is also another word for idiot, although tends to be more for idiots/w@nkers.
Time for a car boot sale I feel: A car boot sale is where people set up rickety, cheap tables in the middle of a field and sell their old bits and bobs, in practice its more like trading them because as soon as you've sold something you see something that you just have to buy.
Remember the bleeding Alamo?: Well? DO YOU!?
Reminds me of a bunch of pikies: Pikies are people who live in caravans and generally park where they're not welcome, laybys, car parks etc. A pikie is also an insult for someone who picks up pennies in the street.
You're pathetic like a bunch of bloody Milwall fans: Milwall is a British football team, their fans tend to throw temper tantrums and rip their own stalls apart.
Soft as sh*te: sh*te=sh*t=poo
Wayne Rooney's smarter than you: Rooney is a British footballer, he has the IQ of a gorilla with part of its brain missing and bears a striking resemblance to one.
Smeghead: Smegma is a medical term for something I'd rather not discuss.
Need to borrow my specs mate?: Specs=glasses
You gormless tosser: A gormless person is witless, and pays little attentio to the world around them.
Stay put or I'll stick it where the sun don't bloody shine: AKA...or I'll stick it up your @$$.
Stay put you div: Div=idiot.
Bosh! Door's open: Bosh make tools. Manly tools. Also a Jamie Oliver saying: "Bish bash bosh, real good nosh!" Nosh=food.
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off: A quote from the Italian Job, if you haven't seen it go and watch it, now.
I'm bleeding knackered: Knackered=Exhausted.
Do something or I'm brown bread: More cockney rhyming slang, brown bread=dead.
Money, money, moneyyyy!: ABBA hit.
Money money moneyyy!
Must be funnyyy!
In a rich man's world!
What is this? Bloody Guy Fawkes?: Guy Fawkes night=Bonfire night. Named so because Fawkes was the conspirator who was assigned to light the fuse and the first to be caught.
You're all fur-coat, no knickers b*tches: Knickers are a British word for panties, this phrase is basically an alternative to calling the specimens prostitutes.
Scarper: Run like f*ck! Also cockney rhyming slang, Scarper flow-go. Scarper flow is some estuary in Scotland...Or whatever.
Who do you think you are, bleeding Action Man?: Action Man is a platic figurine sold in Britain, think GI Joe. Except the knowing half of the battle has been replaced with a speedboat and an assaut rifle.
Puttin' the wood in the 'ole, Gov'na!: Basically means shutting the door. Wood = Door, Hole = Doorframe.
Other pleasing rhyming slang:
Adam and Eve: Believe, "I don't bloody Adam and Eve it!"
Alan Whickers: Knickers, "keep yer bloody Alans on mate!"
Apple Fritter: Bitter (beer), "I'm goin' to get me an apple at the pub."
Aris: Arse (***), "Nice Aris gal!"
Army and navy: Gravy, "Get some army on them roasties."
Artful dodger: Lodger, "I've got an Artful in the spare room."
Aryton Senner: Tenner, "You owe me an Aryton."
Bacon and eggs: Legs, "That's a lovely set of bacon's on that there gal!"
Bang Allan Border: Bang out of order, "That's just bang Allan!"
Barn owl (Barney): Row (Argument), "I had a Barney 'cos me artful refused to pay me the Aryton."
Barnet fair: Hair, "You've got some bird sh*te in yer barnet."
Boat race: Face, "He got walloped in the boat."
Battle Cruiser: Boozer (Pub), "I'm goin' down the battle, you in?"
Bottle and glass: Arse (***), "He fell on his bottle!"
Brass bands: Hands, "C'mon gov! Shake me by the brass!"
Bread and honey: Money, "Me artful still owes me a load o' bread."
Britney Spears: Beers, "Comin' down the battle? the Britney's are on me!"
Bubble bath: Laugh, "Yer 'avin a bubble, ain'cha?!"
Butcher's hook: Look, "Take a butcher's at that!"
Chevy Chase: Face, "He took a wallop to the Chevy, he did."
China plate: Mate, "How are you, me ol' china?"
Christian Slater: Later, "See ya Slater!"
Cream crackered: Knackered, "I'm cream crackered!"
Currant bun: Sun, "The currant bun's out."
Daisy roots: Boots, "Get yer daisies on."
Danny Marr: Car, "Me Danny's cream crackered!"
David Gower: Shower, "Give us a minute, gotta have a David."
Dicky bird: Word, "He hasn't said a dicky all night."
Dog and bone: Phone, "Sorry mate, the mrs. is always on the dog."
Donkey's ears: Years, "I haven't seen Dave in Donkeys!"
Drum 'n' bass: Face, "John just took a wallop to the drum!"
Dudley Moore: Score (
Get up them apples: Cockney rhyming slang, 'apples and pears'=stairs, Similarly 'Ruby Murray'=curry and 'dog and bone'=phone
It's like Croydon on a friday night: Croydon is a town south of London, it is also a scum ridden peice of ****e. I only ever go there for the Ikea branch.
Knob off you tosspot: A tosspot is a variation of the word tosser, which in turn is a synonym for the word w@nker.
Come on, you want some you ponces?: A ponce is a man who is exceedingly effeminate, the word can be interchangeable with 'camp', in the context of "That guy's a bit camp."
Jesus I'm bleeding like a stuck pig: People used to speed up the death of a wild pig by stabbing it with as many spears as possible, the process eventually became known as 'pig sticking' and the pig in question was a 'stuck pig'.
Gimme a plaster: A plaster is the British term for band-aid.
Hey, Gov'na I'm up to my bloody neck in it here: Cockneys (people from London) sometimes refer to each other as gov'na (the full word being govenor), also sometimes shortened to 'gov'.
Can I scrounge some cash?: Scrounging is constantly asking your peers for things, usually money or food (in the context of a crisp(chip), not a whole meal).
Look out you plonker: A plonker is another word for idiot.
Wake up you pillock: A pillock is also another word for idiot, although tends to be more for idiots/w@nkers.
Time for a car boot sale I feel: A car boot sale is where people set up rickety, cheap tables in the middle of a field and sell their old bits and bobs, in practice its more like trading them because as soon as you've sold something you see something that you just have to buy.
Remember the bleeding Alamo?: Well? DO YOU!?
Reminds me of a bunch of pikies: Pikies are people who live in caravans and generally park where they're not welcome, laybys, car parks etc. A pikie is also an insult for someone who picks up pennies in the street.
You're pathetic like a bunch of bloody Milwall fans: Milwall is a British football team, their fans tend to throw temper tantrums and rip their own stalls apart.
Soft as sh*te: sh*te=sh*t=poo
Wayne Rooney's smarter than you: Rooney is a British footballer, he has the IQ of a gorilla with part of its brain missing and bears a striking resemblance to one.
Smeghead: Smegma is a medical term for something I'd rather not discuss.
Need to borrow my specs mate?: Specs=glasses
You gormless tosser: A gormless person is witless, and pays little attentio to the world around them.
Stay put or I'll stick it where the sun don't bloody shine: AKA...or I'll stick it up your @$$.
Stay put you div: Div=idiot.
Bosh! Door's open: Bosh make tools. Manly tools. Also a Jamie Oliver saying: "Bish bash bosh, real good nosh!" Nosh=food.
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off: A quote from the Italian Job, if you haven't seen it go and watch it, now.
I'm bleeding knackered: Knackered=Exhausted.
Do something or I'm brown bread: More cockney rhyming slang, brown bread=dead.
Money, money, moneyyyy!: ABBA hit.
Money money moneyyy!
Must be funnyyy!
In a rich man's world!
What is this? Bloody Guy Fawkes?: Guy Fawkes night=Bonfire night. Named so because Fawkes was the conspirator who was assigned to light the fuse and the first to be caught.
You're all fur-coat, no knickers b*tches: Knickers are a British word for panties, this phrase is basically an alternative to calling the specimens prostitutes.
Scarper: Run like f*ck! Also cockney rhyming slang, Scarper flow-go. Scarper flow is some estuary in Scotland...Or whatever.
Who do you think you are, bleeding Action Man?: Action Man is a platic figurine sold in Britain, think GI Joe. Except the knowing half of the battle has been replaced with a speedboat and an assaut rifle.
Puttin' the wood in the 'ole, Gov'na!: Basically means shutting the door. Wood = Door, Hole = Doorframe.
Other pleasing rhyming slang:
Adam and Eve: Believe, "I don't bloody Adam and Eve it!"
Alan Whickers: Knickers, "keep yer bloody Alans on mate!"
Apple Fritter: Bitter (beer), "I'm goin' to get me an apple at the pub."
Aris: Arse (***), "Nice Aris gal!"
Army and navy: Gravy, "Get some army on them roasties."
Artful dodger: Lodger, "I've got an Artful in the spare room."
Aryton Senner: Tenner, "You owe me an Aryton."
Bacon and eggs: Legs, "That's a lovely set of bacon's on that there gal!"
Bang Allan Border: Bang out of order, "That's just bang Allan!"
Barn owl (Barney): Row (Argument), "I had a Barney 'cos me artful refused to pay me the Aryton."
Barnet fair: Hair, "You've got some bird sh*te in yer barnet."
Boat race: Face, "He got walloped in the boat."
Battle Cruiser: Boozer (Pub), "I'm goin' down the battle, you in?"
Bottle and glass: Arse (***), "He fell on his bottle!"
Brass bands: Hands, "C'mon gov! Shake me by the brass!"
Bread and honey: Money, "Me artful still owes me a load o' bread."
Britney Spears: Beers, "Comin' down the battle? the Britney's are on me!"
Bubble bath: Laugh, "Yer 'avin a bubble, ain'cha?!"
Butcher's hook: Look, "Take a butcher's at that!"
Chevy Chase: Face, "He took a wallop to the Chevy, he did."
China plate: Mate, "How are you, me ol' china?"
Christian Slater: Later, "See ya Slater!"
Cream crackered: Knackered, "I'm cream crackered!"
Currant bun: Sun, "The currant bun's out."
Daisy roots: Boots, "Get yer daisies on."
Danny Marr: Car, "Me Danny's cream crackered!"
David Gower: Shower, "Give us a minute, gotta have a David."
Dicky bird: Word, "He hasn't said a dicky all night."
Dog and bone: Phone, "Sorry mate, the mrs. is always on the dog."
Donkey's ears: Years, "I haven't seen Dave in Donkeys!"
Drum 'n' bass: Face, "John just took a wallop to the drum!"
Dudley Moore: Score (
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