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Floormas Caroles

To the tune of 'Silent Night:'
Oooone in the piiiipe
Ooooone in the piiipe

Run and hiiide
Orr you'll wiiipe
Kevin Clamely is running wild
He's ticked off that you killed his child
Weeeep in spectator's peace
Weeeep in spectator's peace.

By request for Blackadder

The sound of rockets and grenades
Good folk, arm up your best sharpshooter
Beware, the deadly gorefast blade
Because you'll rage at your computer
West loooondon
West loooondon
The rules you'll learn and heed
Fleshpounder
Fleshpounder
He's very mad indeed!
Red, his chest light made of woe
Red, his bloody fists of metal
His roar will make you want to go
His death will make your nerves settle
Fleshpounder
Fleshpounder
Flames are not the best plan
Firebug
Firebug
You foolish little man
 
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To the tune of 'Silent Night:'
Oooone in the piiiipe
Ooooone in the piiipe

Run and hiiide
Orr you'll wiiipe
Kevin Clamely is running wild
He's ticked off that you killed his child
Weeeep in spectator's peace
Weeeep in spectator's peace.

By request for Blackadder

The sound of rockets and grenades
Good folk, arm up your best sharpshooter
Beware, the deadly gorefast blade
Because you'll rage at your computer
West loooondon
West loooondon
The rules you'll learn and heed
Fleshpounder
Fleshpounder
He's very mad indeed!
Red, his chest light made of woe
Red, his bloody fists of metal
His roar will make you want to go
His death will make your nerves settle
Fleshpounder
Fleshpounder
Flames are not the best plan
Firebug
Firebug
You foolish little man

Best first post ever. :IS2:
 
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A day in Santa's workshop.

A day in Santa's workshop.

Twas the night before Christmas
and all 'cross the map
all the crawlers, clots, gorefasts, all that mutated cr**
were tromping around Santa's house without care
knowing full well survivors soon would be there.
Pipe bombs, we laid down, in all of the lots
(we were hoping they'd take out at least a few clots).

While me with my shotgun, and you with your MAC,
quickly dug ourselves in to withstand the attack.
When all of a sudden there came such a roar,
I peeked down the alley to see what was in store.
A fleshpound! Oh sh**! There was nowhere to hide.
I bolted from cover, we'd be safer inside.
I ran, dodging gorefasts, still riddled with fright,
slammed the door quickly and welded it tight!

Now trapped in the workshop, all seemed quiet and still.
No trader to buy from, no crawlers to kill.
When out of the corner of my eye does appear,
but a quartet of stalkers, I just gave a sneer...
and turned around quickly, brought my shotgun to aim.
Bang bang bang, three stalkers, that wave I did maim.
Out of ammo, the fourth stalker fell to my knife;
when all of a sudden, voice chat sprang to life:
"You a**hole! You retard! You left me to die!
Now the fleshpound's a comin' he was too tough to fry!"
With that, victory soon did lose all its thrill;
fleshpound on my tail, 85 left to kill.
Four columns of gorefasts emerged from the dark.
My 9mm pistol couldn't tear them apart.
Behind me, on the door, mutants smashed it in.
I was surrounded; there was no way to win...

And so I did die next to Santa's big chair.
Perhaps you'll do better in Evil Santa's Lair...
 
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Well this is my first post so here we go,

Have a bloody, gory christmas
It the most twisted time of the year!
I Know that you all will die
so don't even lie!
Have a bloody, gory christmas
Meet new friends, than say goodbye
Cause you will all die!

Oh no!
The fleshpound,
Rushing from where you cant see
Your friends abandon you,
shoot them once for me
Have a bloody, gory christmas
and in case your still alive
Have a bloody, gory christmas
This round of Killing floor!

Well I did my best,
Have a twisted christmas this year! :)
NoQuarterX
 
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In this tune:
YouTube - Kidnap the Sandy Claws- KoRn Version
---------------------------
Siren
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Masterson
Kidnap the Santa Claws, stun him with katana
Throw a pipe under him
Spam him with the AA12s
Briar
First, we're going to set some bait
Inside a nasty trap and wait
When he comes a-sniffing we will
Put the pipe up his @**
pvt schneider
Wait! I've got a better plan
To catch this big red robot man
Let's headshot him with xbow bolt
And when he's done we'll T-bag his face
Masterson
Kidnap the Robot Claws
Exploit him under box
Bug him for ninety years
Then see if he talks
Robot Patriarch
That was exactly my plan!
Can take the whole thing over then.
I'll be so pleased I do declare
That you'll be eaten by my children!
pvt schneider
I say that we take a handcannon
Aim it at his door and then
Weild three times and when he blasts
Robot Claws will be our wh0re!
Briar
You're so stupid, think now
If I blow him up into smithereens
He'll be in the pieces
And CandleJack will greet us with his blessing!
Masterson
Kidnap the RObot Claws
Show him how we t-bag
His precious children
Then see if he is sad
Robot Patriarch
Because Robot Claus is the meanest guy around
If I were on his naughty list, I'd get out of town
Stalkers
He'll be so pleased by our success
That he'll reward us, so I bet
Crawlers
Perhaps he'll make his special brew
Of Masterson and Briar stew
Yummm!
Clots
We're his little children
And we take our job with pride
We do our best to please him
And stay on his good side
Robot Patriarch
I wish my clots weren't so dumb
I'm not the dumb one
Briar
You're no fun
Masterson
Shut up!
I've got something, listen now
Dosh is really good, you'll see
We'll buy pipes and put next to his door
Upon there'll be a note to read
Now, he'll open doors, we'll wait and hide
Briar
Until his curiousity
Entices him to step on them?
pvt schneider
And then we'll have him
One, two, three
Darvin
Kidnap the Santa Claws, beat him with a boomstick
Shoot his hairy ears, see what makes him tick
Corporal Lewis
Kidnap the Santa Claws, chop him into bits
CandleJack is sure to get his kicks
Kidnap the Santa Claws, see what we will see
Lock him in a cage and then throw away the key
Briar
Kidnap the Santa Claws, see what we will see
Lock him in a cage and then throw away the key
Sirens
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
 
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What's the policy on language here? I have a more colorful one.

well, the forums remove any unwanted language via filters, and is suprisingly broad. If it looks like a swear, and you dont want it all to be *s, than I suggest you replace one or more letters with a * so we get what your saying
 
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well, the forums remove any unwanted language via filters, and is suprisingly broad. If it looks like a swear, and you dont want it all to be *s, than I suggest you replace one or more letters with a * so we get what your saying
Not better remove "o" letter and type in "0" for example, or instead of "A" put "@"? ;)
 
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I'll give it a go:
To the tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"

I saw a player scoping a Gorefast
Inside Evil Santas Lair last night
He didn't see the Scrake creep
Up from behind to have a peek
He thought his teammates had his back
When infact they had all been sacked
Then
I saw a player meeting the Patriarch
He could not afford the armour just a knife
Oh
What a pain he must have been in
When Patty penetrated his skin
A player meeting the Patriarch last night

Merry twisted christmas to everyone and a gory newyear! :)
 
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I'll give it a go:
To the tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"

I saw a player scoping a Gorefast
Inside Evil Santas Lair last night
He didn't see the Scrake creep
Up from behind to have a peek
He thought his teammates had his back
When infact they had all been sacked
Then
I saw a player meeting the Patriarch
He could not afford the armour just a knife
Oh
What a pain he must have been in
When Patty penetrated his skin
A player meeting the Patriarch last night

Merry twisted christmas to everyone and a gory newyear! :)
 
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I'll give it a go:
To the tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"

I saw a player scoping a Gorefast
Inside Evil Santas Lair last night
He didn't see the Scrake creep
Up from behind to have a peek
He thought his teammates had his back
When infact they had all been sacked
Then
I saw a player meeting the Patriarch
He could not afford the armour just a knife
Oh
What a pain he must have been in
When Patty penetrated his skin
A player meeting the Patriarch last night

Merry twisted christmas to everyone and a gory newyear! :)

Epic First posting as well:D

Glad to see that the community can really get into the Twisted Christmas spirit:D
 
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Jingle bells Clamely smells
Trader is a wh^r^
Spawned across the fuggin map and then she shut the door!
Shotgun shells warning bells
England's overrun
Dead end trap ends in dirt nap so back to the first wave

Dashing through the lab, machinguns all ablaze
What fun it is to fight and scream through specimens all night!
 
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